typing is not activism….

environ mentalism, fresh articles, interviews & checkitouts from Sydney.

The Eukanuba Diet – for dog lovers…

with 6 comments

I was buying a large bag of Eukanuba (Dog food) at Coles and  standing in line at the check out. A woman behind me asked if I had a dog.

On impulse, I told her that no, I was starting The Eukanuba Diet again, although I probably shouldn’t because I’d ended up in the hospital last time, but that I’d lost 22 kilos before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IV’s in both  arms.

I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pockets with Eukanuba nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry & that the food is nutritionally complete so I was going to try it again.

I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was by now enthralled with my story, particularly a guy who was behind her. Horrified, she asked if I’d ended up in the hospital in that condition because I had been poisoned.

I told her no; it was because I’d been sitting in the street licking my balls and a car hit me.
I thought one guy was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard as he staggered out the door.

Stupid cow…why else would I buy dog food??

i got this email from a friend and thought it was too hysterical not to share.


Written by typingisnotactivism

December 10, 2007 at 12:57 am

6 Responses

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  1. Hi, this looks like an interesting blog.

    I like the humour.

    It is funny how people ask stupid questions sometimes. She probably was just trying to make conversation, poor woman, but you’ve gotta hand it to someone who is quick enouogh and acerbic enough to come back with a line like that.


    December 11, 2007 at 3:50 am

  2. Hilarious. My brother sent me this one with UK brand names. Still funny all the same.

    Colin Campbell

    December 11, 2007 at 2:06 pm

  3. Yep – it’s one of those ones that’s close enough to being likely to be totally believable. I think we should all go to the supermarket and queue with dog food until we get a chance to make it happen.

    Cheers Tex, glad you like the site. In keeping with Australian standards, all the humour’s fully imported.



    December 11, 2007 at 3:42 pm

  4. Yeah, it is funny but like someone else said she was probably a dog lover and just being nice – I think calling her a silly cow is going a bit far though! If there were more people like this lady and less sarcastic people, world ‘d be a nicer place!


    December 23, 2007 at 11:42 pm

  5. here’s an ideal compromise – how about less people and more sarcasm?


    December 24, 2007 at 2:11 am

  6. Years ago I had 2 cats and was going away for a few weeks, and so was stocking up on lots of tins of cat food to give to my housesitter.

    So, I was coming through the checkout with about 30 tins and the young girl asked: “So…got cats do you?” Not an entirely unreasonable assumption….

    To which I replied, “No..it’s my turn to cater at the retirement home this week”

    Got a stare and a blink in return, followed by “That will be $24.50 thanks”. Followed by a smile. Hey, ‘check-out chicks’ are people too – if we can give them a laugh during the course of their long and not-so-exciting day, why not?! And before the responses start, I strongly believe in appropriate and wholesome nutrition for retirees…


    January 12, 2008 at 1:01 pm

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