typing is not activism….

environ mentalism, fresh articles, interviews & checkitouts from Sydney.

The Washington Post is a piece of $h!t, but these are pretty funny…

with 8 comments

  If you too are a fan of English as a language that evolves, rather than waiting for dictionaries and frustrated language teachers and newspaper editors to determine what is or is not a word which can legitimately be used to convey meaning, you’ll dig these too. Seriously, I wouldn’t give The Washington Post to a puppy to crap on. Actually… that’s probably the one situation where The Washington Post is the paper of choice. Point being, these are pretty good. 8. might just be my favourite, although 13 and 15 are definitely contenders. Anyway…

The Washington Post’s Mensa Invitational asked readers to take any
word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing
one letter, and supply a new definition.

1. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the
subject financially impotent for an indefinite period of time.

2. Ignoranus: A person who’s both stupid and an asshole.

3. Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with.

4. Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly.

5. Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.
6. Foreploy: Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid.

7. Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.

8. Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the
person who doesn’t get it.

9. Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.

10. Hipatitis: Terminal coolness.

11. Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.)

12. Karmageddon: It’s when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, and then the Earth explodes, and it’s a serious bummer.
13. Decafalon (n.): The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you
14. Glibido: All talk and no action.

15. Dopeler effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.
16. Arachnoleptic fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you’ve accidentally walked through a spider web.

17. Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito, that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.

Written by typingisnotactivism

December 17, 2007 at 10:48 pm

8 Responses

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  1. I’d have to go with 16. Arachnoleptic fit – having had the 10 y o do a beautiful rendition of the “totally wild freaked out thingie but shit I have to try & be cool at the same time” last weekend while bushwalking – & St Andrew Cross spiders are seriously big at this time of year. Its not often 45 yo white lesbians get the chance to appear like totally the dude as they flick the spider nonchalantly away…


    December 20, 2007 at 10:23 am

  2. You made my day!


    December 20, 2007 at 3:30 pm

  3. y thx CG, & B – i hear ya! ROFLMAO!!


    December 20, 2007 at 11:22 pm

  4. Hai, tina – JanetCanHas4Kittehs heer.

    I reelee like you blog. I don’t check it as often as I’d like – time – alas, a far too limited commodity. Thanks for finding the new words list. They are indeed amewsing!

    Janet Ast

    December 21, 2007 at 2:53 am

  5. !!!!! swoon! & yay!
    In case ennybawdee iz confoozd, Janet iz a cheezketeering lolfren and can be vizitted along with al teh udder cheezketeerz at I Can Has Cheezburger (highly rekomended)


    December 21, 2007 at 9:22 am

  6. And a festive one:
    Pastriotism- the love of sweet baked foods and willingness to sacrifice for it.
    I also enjoy your blog, and enjoyed the Coen brother’s latest movie too.


    December 24, 2007 at 3:02 pm

  7. ha! be careful with that pastriotism, or you’ll end up getting marturd – untimely death from heroically excessive ingestion of glutinous foodstuffs.


    December 24, 2007 at 11:24 pm

  8. Very good. I used to read the Washington Post every day when I lived there. To say that it was obsessed with politics is to underestimate the importance. That and the Redskins.

    Great list. I am going to pinch it. Have a great year.

    Colin Campbell

    January 10, 2008 at 12:35 pm

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