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Archive for the ‘assholes’ Category

Australian Senate Chokes on Carbon Bill

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Senator Stephen ‘Peaked in Pre-School’ Fielding truly is the pubic hair stuck in the throat of Australian democracy. Imposed on us by a Labor Party too control-hungry to preference Greens, he has probably cost the country $7B in compensation to heavily polluting industries – such as coal, electricity, and aluminium production – and ensured the creation and imposition of a weak, flawed, messy, and ineffective Carbon Pollution Reduction Scheme – more accurately referred to by Greens Senator Rachel Siewert as the Coal Profits Retention Scheme.

Stephen Feel Ding underestimates his answer to the question, 'how stupid am I?'

Without Fielding, the timid and thumb-twiddling government could negotiate with a crossbench more likely made up of progressives with sufficient votes to secure a majority, rather than having to target a confused and even more visionless opposition, knowing that any possibility for a crossbench majority is stymied by the presence of Lord Effwit.

Speaking to the Senate just now about the proposed bundle of carbon legislation, Fielding has again emphasized his credentials as an engineer, and therefore a scientist in much the same way that an abattoir-worker might claim accreditation as a surgeon. He attributed the hysteria surrounding climate change to the brutal and self-interested ostracisation of all those brilliant scientists who argue that climate change has nothing to do with carbon, if it is even happening at all. Furthermore, he blamed that vicious piece of propaganda by Al Gore – The Innocent Truth. Oops. Duh.

At least Fielding called for sanity. We have been all carried away by this notion that exponential carbon emissions since 1995 are impacting global warming, when it hasn’t been increasingly hot every single year. After all, in Australia we have only had 8 of this country’s 10 hottest years since 2000, as have many countries around the planet.

But then again, Fielding is the only person in the Australian Parliament who realizes that Copenhagen is best pronounced as two words (Copen *pause 2 3 4* Hagen).

These idiots who think that lack of absolute proof is proof of absolute lack understand not even the slightest portion of the incredibly complex and ever-growing body of climate science. Even in the early ‘90s, scientists were clear in the fact that part of the model’s predictability must necessarily be its unpredictability. Idiot mouthpieces who triumphantly proclaim that the climate’s refusal to behave as uniformly predictably as Lego somehow disproves 2500 of the world’s leading climate scientists’ conservative predictions would perhaps better serve humanity as involuntary organ donors.

I’m looking at you, Fielding… Abetz… etc.

Then again, climate opportunist George Monbiot has chosen to expose the entire Global Warming Conspiracy today, so I should probably just shut up and enjoy the climatic mundanity.

Written by typingisnotactivism

November 25, 2009 at 11:15 am

Victorian Bushliars

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February 7, 2009. Black Saturday. The Victorian firestorm that left thousands homeless and hundreds dead.

Only Pentecostal Danny Nalliah, pastor of Catch The Fire Ministries, had the good sense to look past all the enraged finger-pointing and publicly blame Victoria’s frivolous abortion laws. The comparably visionary Miranda Devine, writing from her comfortable Sydney mansion, preached that filthy murdering greenies with their climate agenda owe the families of the dead a personal apology.

Max Rheese, head of the pro-GMO/logging/nuclear, anti-climate-science, Don Burke-fronted Gunns-donation-receiving corporate think-tank Australian Environment Foundation wrote for Online Opinion to blame public land managers and governments. Although he conceded that the only reason they ignored awesome forest science established in 1939 (yes, really) was because of pressure from latte-sipping inner-city greens.

Even Germaine Greer – usually worthwhile and at worst amusing – announced to a dinner attended by the Queen that a lack of burning and clearing by Australian authorities, albeit in ignorance of blackfella wisdom, is to blame. Similarly astute observations can be found all over The Australian’s letters pages.

And even Fran Bailey, MP for the bulk of Victoria’s worst affected areas, is pushing an argument adored by nearly every woodchipping lobbyist and climate skeptic every time Australia burns.

It amounts to a claim that protecting areas managed as National Parks, limiting logging of native forests, and giving ecosystems a chance to function at all naturally is to guarantee fiery tragedy and ensure that fire crews can’t gain access when it occurs.

Basically, ‘man with bulldozer, chainsaw, and woodchip license knows best’.

But writing to the Environment East Gippsland newsgroup, one Victorian forest activist noted that “apart from Bunyip, I cannot think of any major fire this season that hasn’t been in a plantation or other heavily managed forestry area.”

According to his observations and initial reports, all fires – bar one – started in plantations, logging coupes, grasslands, and farms. Namely, areas already decimated and dehydrated by the very practices prescribed by the ignorant, remote, and spin-driven parasites happy to exploit yet another fatal catastrophe.

But at least this tragedy will finally move Australia to really act on climate change…

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February 17, 2009 at 1:06 am

News Alert: Israel now to deliver humanitarian aid to Gaza

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In an unexpected breakthrough, Israeli Foreign Minister Tzipi Livni has confirmed new steps in addition to the humanitarian aid corridors and three-hour daily ceasefire announced in the last 24 hours.

“Under the 6 month truce with Hamas,” said Livni, “increasing numbers of weapons have been smuggled into Gaza, forcing Israel to defend herself. For this reason, convoys into Gaza are a security problem. But we do not want ordinary Palestinians to suffer, so we will increasingly handle delivery of humanitarian aid – particularly medical supplies – to Gaza.”

The announcement from Livni further detailed Israel’s plans to ensure that humanitarian aid reaches the people who need it most. Using new delivery technologies, the Israeli military will work together with U.N. relief organizations to improve conditions for ordinary citizens of Gaza.

With the benefit of knowledge gained from resupply of US troops in Iraq, the UN and Israeli forces will fasten hardened carbon fibre packages containing antibiotics, anaesthetic, surgical tools, bandages, and saline solution to munitions aimed into Gaza. The new approach will ensure that medical supplies reach the Palestinians who need them most, at the time they are most needed.

Named META – Medical Emergency Targeted Attachment – the containers detach from missiles just moments before impact. The packages are clearly marked with a red cross and emit a series of short siren bursts to allow easier recovery by survivors within the immediate blast zone. Encapsulating nanotechnologies have produced a 93% average survival rate for META contents in field testing.

UN Secretary General Ban Ki Moon is still upset by Israeli attacks on U.N. schools in Gaza, which killed more than 30 refugees, but he sees hope in this new targeted delivery of humanitarian aid.

“We do not approve of the wanton destruction of U.N. property,” said Moon, “but Israel knows that this senseless violence cannot continue. We are encouraged to see some sense in their latest steps toward creating a more humane situation on the ground in Gaza.”

Livni insists that the latest move is not just a cynical stunt suggested to Israel by Washington as a way of projecting a more caring image even at a time of unregulated and unjustified slaughter.

“Here in Israel,” said Livni, “we have already forgotten more about efficient management of civilian populations than most countries have ever had to learn.”

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January 8, 2009 at 2:45 am

Good Riddance: SMH Editor Alan Oakley Hands Over the Race-baiting Ignorance Flogging Boob-soaked Flesh Wand of Destiny.

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Alan Oakley

Former SMH Editor

STILL A TOTAL KNOB

Of course it’s not all good news. The Zionist douchebag did step down yesterday – whatever that means is yet to be clear – but has apparently been offered an important strategic position at Fairfax. That probably means he’ll be getting paid six figures to Photoshop well-oiled breasts on to dead Arabs and equally dead polar bears.

As always, the Herald’s own article about the departure of one of Fairfax’s own is a vapid piece of sh*t which quite literally functions as nothing more than a press release. How quality of the paper is it that today another executive, David Kirk, has been dumped, so they sent an intern round to his back fence to take this photo.

What a shame he wasn’t pissing on a tree or rolling drunk and morbid in his own vomit at the time. Still, they have at least managed to make him appear mildly depressed, even though he’s actually just busy sending a text message.

The Australian’s article about Oakley’s departure from the Simply Moaning Hairball at least makes clear why he felt it necessary to turn the paper into a piece of glamorous mindless populist piece of turd largely written at a fourth grade reading and analysis level. Seems his lateral elevation was all about Sunday papers – tits, car ads, and Michael Jackson stories, basically.

Anyway – good riddance. If the Herald hadn’t formerly been a very worthwhile newspaper, and if it wasn’t still holding a stable of very good writers and journalists, then there would be no reason for frustration with the wad of 90% trans-fats that it has become in the last two+ years under Oakley and the completely visionless board of Fairfax.

One might hope that Oakley’s departure will open the door for a dramatic improvement of the ailing newspaper culture at the Sydney Morning Herald and Farifax’s other outposts, but based on their sustained form there is little reason for that hope.

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December 5, 2008 at 1:34 pm

Australian media link Obama to Crack

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The Sydney Morning Herald has reached a desperate new low today, and it is anybody’s guess why. This paper is on one hand trying to promote itself as cool and edgy, with colourful stroboscopic TV ads soundtracked by a theme plagiaristically close to Rage Against the Machine’s ‘I won’t do whatcha tell me!’ On the other hand, it also frequently runs conservative snootiness masquerading as irony and continues to question and even deny the very actual reality of devastating climate change.

So when they try to associate Barack Obama with crack cocaine is it because they think destructive drug references are edgy and cool (which they aren’t), or because their increasingly conservative editorial agenda finds something satisfying in making a racist slur against the new US President-elect?

What? Crack cocaine use is much more common amongst lower income brackets in America. Blacks in America are still more likely than white Americans to be economically disadvantaged. And American courts treat crack much more harshly than cocaine, which is generally used by people with a much higher disposable income.

Odds are that if you’re in America and your problem is crack, you’re black, and you’re going to get a harsher sentence than Wall Street when he gets caught with uncut Peruvian coming back from his Obama inauguration party. Statistically speaking.

The New York Times has been running this story for the past couple of days: Lose the Blackberry? Yes he can, maybe. It’s a very interesting article about how the US President is, in a way, locked in the watchtower. When Obama takes office on Jan. 20, he may well be denied his mobile phone and even email access because of laws relating to communications from the President of the United States.

Today (timely, as always) the Sydney Morning Herald is running exactly the same story, and the are attributing it to The New York Times. Except that they have changed the title to

Obama might have to kick his CrackBerry habit

and inexplicably altered the line

For years, like legions of other professionals, Mr. Obama has been all but addicted to his BlackBerry.

to instead read

For years, like legions of other on-the-move professionals, Mr Obama has been all but addicted to his BlackBerry – or CrackBerrys as they are sometimes called for exactly that reason..

As you can see, the sloppy Herald insert is evident by the appearance of two fullstops.

Now – and I’m just guessing here – writers in New York have seen a lot of the social problems and devastation of crack addiction across poorer areas of their city. They have seen that many black communities have been deeply affected by it in an almost cancerous manner. And they have seen a number of other American media outlets repeatedly tie black skin to crack addiction and drug abuse generally in a pervasive and decidedly racebaiting manner. So it would never even occur to them to use the term “Crackberry” in writing about anybody, let alone their President-elect.

The Sydney Morning Herald, on the other hand – just what the f#$% are they trying to say?

Michael Duffy is a moron; why does Fairfax pay him?

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It is strange that Fairfax, the publisher of Sydney Morning Herald, puts out a far better paper in Melbourne – The Age – than they do in Sydney. It could perhaps be because the Sydney editor is a nonce. But that doesn’t explain why the hell Fairfax employ a conservative editor in what continually tries to be a progressive society. Perhaps they would rather we resist that impulse.

Or they think we are idiots, which would explain why they keep on their stable of narcissistic pundits-of-no-merit. Like Miranda Devine. Like Gerard Henderson (could somebody pleeeease tell him that John Howard is gone already). Like Michael Duffy.

Duffy is like a tumour that masquerades as a boil. His bio is hilarious – he relaunched his image at the Herald lately by presenting himself as aged cool like a turd with chocolate sprinkles, making special efforts to emphasize that he has been on the dole, AND played in bands. I would bet Madonna’s left nut that they were horrible pieces of shit who largely played or ripped off other people’s songs that sucked way before they even lost all relevance.. Because this feels like the kind of guy that Duffy is, and it’s exactly the way that he manages information. He’s like some second rate Christopher Pyne trying to present as a first rate Shaun Micallef, thereby coming across quite a bit like a skid mark from Peter Costello’s underpants but without the charisma.

In the tradition of ripping off shit that need never have been exuded in the first place, skunkjunk has just run an op ed in the Herald Truly inconvenient truths about climate change being ignored. Wow! Genius! Who would have ever thought to use the title of an increasingly old movie ironically in pursuit of climate change denial? Never. Seen. That. Done. A. Million. Times. Already.

And what a piece of crap it is.

Someone else who’s looked closely at scientific journals (although not specifically those dealing with climate science) is epidemiologist John Ioannidis of the Tufts University School of Medicine in Boston. He reached the surprising conclusion that most published research findings are proved false within five years of their publication. (Lest he be dismissed as some eccentric, I note that the Economist recently said Ioannidis has made his case “quite convincingly”.)

So, one of Duffy’s convincing sources reads magazines that aren’t anything to do with climate science, and has found inconsistencies in those non-climate findings which a non-climate magazine has apparently once agreed add up to some kind of non-climate argument, and therefore climate change is bogus? I’m so convinced, I must read further. Read the rest of this entry »

Written by typingisnotactivism

November 8, 2008 at 2:32 pm

McCain-Palin: Ignorance is Strength

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Oh, wait a minute.

That was Orwell.

How insane is it that John McCain and Sarah Palin have any support at all? Let alone 40% of Americans that most pollsters speak to. According to this article, McCain hasn’t answered press questions or conducted a legitimate media conference in nearly 5 weeks, while his running stooge hasn’t answered any questions at all since she was nominated 4 weeks ago.

The best bit is about how the media have now refused to run photos or video of Palin meeting with handpicked world leaders from Afghanistan and Colombia unless they are allowed editorial access to her and McCain.

After the television networks strenuously objected to the McCain campaign’s effort to block any editorial presence from the room, the McCain campaign finally allowed one CNN pool camera and one pool producer into the meeting room.

As she arrived for her meeting with Karzai, Palin avoided reporters who were camped out at the main front entrance of the hotel, instead pulling up in a motorcade to a side entrance and quickly sneaking inside.

Palin’s dance with the press continued during her meeting with Karzai. After being told that an editorial presence would be permitted in Palin’s meetings, pool reporters were asked to leave after the first 30 seconds, according to the pool report.

Free speech, liberty, democracy, common sense – all things more readily found in the dictionary than in American politics.

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September 24, 2008 at 8:58 am

New Liberal Leader Malcolm Turnbull: shocking revelations…

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Exxon crude oil $US45.45: US Supreme Court ruling

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In a landmark ruling, the US Supreme Court today slashed the damages bill against Exxon for the 11 million gallons of oil their drunken captain poured into a pristine Alaskan ecosystem just 20 years ago. Deciding that “the people” – as in of the, by the, and for the – of the original jury were brain damaged for originally awarding $5 billion in punitive damages against the company, Justice David Souter today pissed mightily in the faces of victimized communities, environments, and species for generations to come.

He found that Exxon should only have to pay $500 million in punitive damages, seeing as the company had already paid $507 million in damages to directly compensate communities of Prince William Sound for economic losses.

$500 million totals about $15 000 for each of the 33 000 claimants, and 4 days worth of Exxon’s profits last year, Read the rest of this entry »

Tasmanian Bum Puppet Paul Lennon Finally Pisses Off

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ANOTHER ONE BITES THE DUST!!!!

(by DJ Lobsterdust)

Woo Hoo!!!!! Paul Lennon has run out of scapegoat deputies and finally resigned as Premier of Tasmania. In what may be one of the only political moves he has ever made in the genuine interest of Tasmania’s populace and future generations, Big Red finally pulled the plug on his untenable losership blaming his 17% popularity rating and the needs of the party, rather than the fact that health claims about the vitamin content of Coco Pops are widely considered more credible than he is.

It will only be to make way for a slightly less oafish brand of corporate lackey douchebaggitora sociopathica, but bugger it – that’s something to get depressed about tomorrow and every day thereafter. For now, it’s time to pop corks and light whatever your preferred flavour of fat one might be.

Lovely bit from Tasmanian Times here – guessing their offices erupted into some sort of Bacchanalian orgy with in seconds of Big Fat Red finally making the announcement that TT had so long been anticipating. As they say,

The disaster of the pulp mill became more about the erosion of democracy and public trust than it was even about the environment. If it was the most glaring example of Paul Lennon’s contempt for proper governance and indifference to democratic process, he was here only following where Bacon had trod. At his ascension Lennon made much of his determination to fulfill Bacon’s vision for Tasmania. How could he know it also portended his own tragedy?

For he lacked Bacon’s charisma. Perhaps his greatest political failure was to be too honest about all that Bacon covered over with his undoubted public charm.

Lennon is now gone.

Even in the moment of final “Good Riddance”, the Mercury – “Tasmania’s leading source of frequently pro-government pap propped up by ad dollars” – has seen fit to run a blancmange of cut-and-pasted infobytes and ministerial quotes which more or less neglects to mention the curry-fart cloud of corruption and big-money-friendly bloody-mindedness hanging over the squinty eyed Big Red One for the last decade or so.

Nevertheless, at least the Mercury has chosen to mention on this fine day that Gunns are having some trouble getting the cash for their toxic planet-raping bog roll enabling Pulp Mill. Seems that ANZ are backing away from the project under the guise of credit concerns, rather than risking future industry dollars by bluntly opposing any project that might make the Exxon Valdez seem like a hiccough.

I don’t share the optimism of pundits who think that the departure of Lennon means a sure end to the pulp mill, nor do I think that ANZ’s unwillingness to fund the bastardry – even if this is officially confirmed in the fullness of time – is a guaranteed end to the world’s biggest, stupidest pulp mill. What is needed for 200 000 hectares of forest to rest easy is for John Gay to announce the project’s demise to the ASX, and for Peter Garrett to rescind any and all outstanding approvals related to the project. Given that Garrett just last week approved the construction of mill worker’s quarters, the gigantic forest-eater may yet have legs… ugly, gnarled, wart-infested, pus-dripping legs.

Read comments by the Tassie public here and here – seems most people are calling for a massive piss-up or a public holiday to properly acknowledge Lennon’s departure.

Written by typingisnotactivism

May 26, 2008 at 1:46 pm

Majority of Hillary’s new funding coming from GOP supporters.

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Yes, it is.

Written by typingisnotactivism

April 25, 2008 at 2:58 am

Dollar Implodes: Oh you crazy Carlyles, you’ve done it again!!

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Go little squiggle! Go!!

It’s all happening a bit fast now for anybody to garner an official ‘WTF?’, but how funny is it that the Carlyle Group – post-Presidency employers of George Bush sr., negotiation partners of Osama Bin Laden’s family, and the American mass weapon exporter of choice – is this very moment the latest leading reason for the utter implosion of the US dollar and global share markets? Go team!!

That’s too funny!!! See the dudes on the left – it’s meant to look as though Carlyle Group is all about respecting and connecting with foreign cultures that encourage the accumulation of wealth, but it’s actually two coked out merchant bankers watching their friend all the way from the top of their building to the pavement below.

Don’t worry though, the US Federal Reserve will probably just cut their overnight rate a few more times so that by July they will actually be paying people to borrow American dollars. Then the whole thing might meet more than 87% of requirements necessary for the current clu$terfuc to be termed a “recession”.

It’s like when that prick with ears on the American Today show or Good Yawning America came out and announced that The Network had decided to call the war in Iraq a Civil War. I’m sure that semantic pedantry really made a difference to the bodies in mass graves who thought they had been put there as part of a regional conflict or neighbourhood dispute.

Further Bushes & the Carlyle Group info at

The Information Clearinghouse -> big assortment of interesting info-bytes, background, and collected links.

This one from Third World Traveller is awesome:

Dick Cheney and the Self-Licking Ice Cream Cone

The Carlyle Group: Crony Capitalism without Borders

excerpted from the book

How Much Are You Making On The War Daddy?

A Quick and Dirty Guide to War Profiteering in the Bush Administration

And there’s a more recent one here at Culture Change which gives good background and I like simply because it quotes Tom Paine.

Written by typingisnotactivism

March 14, 2008 at 1:05 am

Tasmania – forest lies, lies, and more lies.

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Tasmania – where blokes are blokes, and trees are nervous.

A state where everything is above board, but Royal Commissions – the highest level of independent inquiry into allegedly corrupt use of authority – are practically banned. Oh Tassie – thank goodness for you, the one place on Earth where destroying forest ecosystems defies physics, biology and chemistry to fight global warming. How? Buggered if I know, but some big blokes with beetroot-blood pressure and friends running chainsaws seem to have worked it out.

Barely a week ago, Paul Lennon – the spectacularly inept Premier of Tasmania and occasional dinner-buddy of Gunns’ CEO John Gay – made a baffling announcement. In response to Professor Ross Garnaut’s analysis of the climate change issues and options facing Australia, Lennon declared that once and for all it was time to get the facts straight about Tasmania’s forests.

This was baffling for two reasons.

Firstly, Lennon and his colleagues in government, industry, and small-minded lobby groups have spent decades arguing that old growth grows on trees and should therefore be woodchipped as quickly as possible lest it get out of control. This argument shifted in the ’90s toward the need for human-led forest management for the good of forests, because without humans, forests are incapable of cutting themselves down. The latest model is two-pronged – logging prevents bushfires (just like abortions prevent cancer) and clearing forests makes room to plant more trees and therefore fight climate change (yes, they are that stupid). In essence, these people have deemed themselves the source of all forest facts. By calling for someone intelligent and with no connection to forestry cash to disseminate facts, Lennon risked undoing decades of half-assed but ubiquitous propaganda.

Secondly, for any non-Greens member of Tasmanian parliament, let alone the bug-eyed, frothing, rabidly pro-Gunns Premier to call for a setting aside of nonsensical argument and the genuinely independent presentation of clear, firm, scientifically credible facts about the environmental impacts of logging is simply unheard of.

But today everything is back to normal. Thanks to our good progressive friends at GetUp, we can see Lennon’s message for what it was. Thanks largely to his timing, it was just another hot, steaming, cow chip of media distraction from a sociopathic Tasmanian bureaucrat. GetUp has just circulated the following release:

You may have missed it, but the Tasmanian Government last week unbelievably signed an agreement handing over Tasmania’s forests to the Gunns pulp mill for the next 20 years – in the very same week Professor Garnaut warned them of the dire climate change consequences facing us.

If we don’t act now, bulldozers will start clearing land for the mill that will contribute 2% of Australia’s greenhouse emissions – at a time when we’re being told we need to drastically cut our emissions. But unfortunately Australia’s forests were largely left out of Garnaut’s recent interim report.

We have only one opportunity to put them in the picture. A proper assessment in his impending Climate Change Report of our native forests’ climate change value may just sink the mill project. Click here now to sign the petition asking Professor Garnaut to examine the full climate impact of this mill madness and the logging of Tasmania’s native forests:

http://www.getup.org.au/campaign/DontPulpOurClimate

There’s a real risk the Garnaut report won’t include a comprehensive assessment of native forests – despite new research finding the stopping of deforestation a “large, immediate and perishable opportunity”* to massively reduce emissions. Costing out the real value of native forests will not only prove Tasmania’s trees would be better left in the ground but make this teetering project financially unviable when Gunns realises they will have to pay for the carbon embedded in our forests.

Native forests are invaluable sources of carbon storage – and it costs nothing to leave them in the ground. But 80% of the 4.5 million tonnes of wood needed to supply the pulp mill each year will initially come from Tassie’s native forests – permanently destroying forests that can hold 10-20 times the amount of CO2 than plantations.

A proper assessment of their climate change value will undoubtedly make the arguments in favour of the mill, whose climate change impact has never even been assessed, untenable. Take action to protect nature’s lungs before the bulldozers move in:

http://www.getup.org.au/campaign/DontPulpOurClimate

Long story short, Lennon can dance naked down the main street of Hobart wearing wattle in his hair and singing about how he loves the freaky forest critters and their precious wooded homes because he has already pushed through the legislation guaranteeing that they will all be turned into dioxinated mulch.

What visionary leaders he, his state Labor Party, and their big-L small-minded ‘opposition’ are.

Many people may have missed it, but Kyoto in its current incarnation is the best hope for global climate action. Even supposedly progressive governments in supposedly first world countries still treat Kyoto as though it’s too hard, but it is riddled with perverse incentives.

For example, emissions from international shipping and air traffic are not included on anybody’s scorecard at the moment – even though these vapours are as damaging as those of any American cattle ranch or any Chinese coal plant. More directly, Kyoto rewards the cutting down of trees that were planted before the 1990s by recognizing the carbon uptake potential of new trees planted in their place – which means that governments have incentive to replace 600-year old eucalypts with water-intensive saplings.

Brilliant.

Add in the fact that Tasmania’s forest ecosystems are administered by people you wouldn’t trust to look after a goldfish, and all the big environmental research, studies, reports, and recommendations look less and less like progress, and more and more like good ways to feel proactive about doing less than nothing.

Written by typingisnotactivism

March 3, 2008 at 3:31 pm

Brendan Nelson: a sorry human being…

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…but for the wrong reasons.

still a bunch of Howtards

Like most of the lip service Liberal/National(ist) opposition, he still misses the point. By miles.

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February 13, 2008 at 1:08 pm

Kevin Rudd’s apology to Aboriginals spoken from the very best part of an Australian

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Adding myself to the growing list of thousands of Australians who have already admitted to crying during Kevin Rudd’s speech just a few hours ago. It was more than a gesture and much deeper than was expected. Unfortunately it’s not up on YouTube yet so I can’t embed it for you, but if you go to the ABC’s official apology coverage you can find it there. I would also heartily recommend checking National Indigenous Times for coverage, analysis, and reactions which will likely be posted there shortly – NIT absolutely rocks.

Until then, here is the welcome to country ceremony, performed at the opening of Parliament yesterday for the first time in the history of this country.

It was truly moving to see the array faces of all colour of beautiful skin, lining the Parliament and telling their own stories from moment to moment as the words this dry land has been needing for so long fell from Kevin Rudd’s mouth like a building spring rain. This moment is an unforeseen opportunity for this generation of Australians and all that follow, and I can hardly remember a moment that I’ve actually taken such pride in thinking of somebody as ‘our Prime Minister’.

But do yourself a favour, and avoid the supposedly non-partisan response of supposed support for the apology from opposition leader, Dr Brendan “Halfwit” Nelson. According to this idiot, we can not judge the past, the people who stole kids and committed genocide were only trying to help, we shouldn’t lose sight of the fact that white people die in war all the time, sometimes breaking up families turns out really well, Aboriginals really are their own worst problem, they should get a job, they shouldn’t get any compensation, dead Aboriginals helped make Australia great, their culture is only 60 000 years old even though artefacts date back at least 116 000 years… o yeah, and he’s sorry. Really.

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February 13, 2008 at 11:42 am

Daisk 5 – pro-whaling spammer douchebag

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Wow. Why did I even bother being polite(ish)?

Daisk 5 posted a comment here in response to another contributor’s lovely insights about the intersection between Maori culture and whales. Unlike that particular contributor, Daisk 5 is not somebody making any kind of special effort or taking the time to make an original, thoughtful, or even intelligent comment.

Doucheaisk 5 has instead gone to almost every post on this blog that is tagged with ‘whales’ and cut’n’pasted the exact same comment.

Dickaisk 5, you can gargle my marbles. You enjoy seeing beautiful intelligent creatures killed because it is a piss-weak, braindead and ugly act, one which you, therefore, can relate to.

Anybody wishing to convey their thoughts to Dildoaisk 5 can try his (too stupid to be female, my guess) email address which has been given as aibu_saki@hotmail.co.jp , although I would guess that aibu_saki@hotmail.com would also be worth a try. Then again, the snivelling prat’s entire input is likely to be as fake as his allusions to culture so you may wish to just make your thoughts known here.

Unless of course you can digitally fist IP 203.160.31.234

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February 6, 2008 at 2:10 am

Benazir Bhutto assassinated: another US foreign policy triumph.

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My blood runs cold at the news that Benazir Bhutto has just been murdered in Pakistan. The first (only?) female leader of an Islamic nation, Prime Minister for the first time at just age 35. Bhutto, Chernobyl, the Challenger disaster, and Ethiopian famine are cornerstones of childhood memory, looking out and becoming curious about the world. Like the death of Indira Ghandi, Bhutto will now loom larger than life. But unlike Indira Ghandi, there is a feeling nearing certainty that Bhutto’s best years were still ahead of her.

Just today, I had read this astonishing piece by Ahmad Faruqui – a journalist in Pakistan. Writing that President Pervez Musharraf should be declared Comedian of the Year, his piece was banned by the Daily Times, supposedly one of Pakistan’s freer papers. So he leaked it. Can you even leak your own work?

Maybe he felt the police would pick up him up because he was openly expressing his opinions on TV, which was contrary to his own diktats.

But wait. Maybe the suffering was moral. As he went to bed every night, he lay awake thinking of the people that he had put in jail that were lying awake in rotten surroundings. To relieve his suffering, all he had to do was release them.

But did he? Of course not! He had declared an emergency precisely to make them suffer. How dare they rise against him on the streets, agitate against military rule and file petitions in the Supreme Court. He was going to fix them once and for all.

New York Times has the story here, with a more insightful look at her struggle here. Reuters has a three-page report seemingly gathered from the scene here. There are two conflicting reports – in one, she was shot in the neck and chest by a killer who then detonated a device next to her vehicle thereby causing close to 20 more deaths. In the other version, she was killed by the blast without any shots first being fired into her body.

The UK’s Guardian has a brief timeline of some of the significant moments in her life cut short here. Reuters has a similarly useful timeline of significant political developments in Pakistan here.

Interestingly, the Jerusalem Post has already responded – not to proclaim the tragedy of her passing but to point out the strategic imperatives of the moment:

The first issue is Pakistan’s nuclear potential; although this is the most pressing issue, it is probably the least worrying as the military is in control of Pakistan’s nuclear capabilities. The second issue is the strength of the radical Islamists, and finally the question of elections and democratisation in Pakistan.

Ironic that nuclear-armed fundamentalists and extremists are worried by nuclear states and radical fundamentalists, proclaiming as much before the final blasts of shrapnel have even hit the ground. Fuck you, murderous thieving right-wing Israeli hypocrites.

Conversely, India- a country all too familiar with the brutal slaying of compassionate leaders – has already voiced empathy and support. Writing at Times Online, Zahad Hussain reports that

moments before Benazir Bhutto was assassinated today, she poignantly spoke of how her father was executed, and of the deaths of other members of her family. Now she too has become a victim.

No doubt those final words shall be reprinted shortly, surely magnifying the significant timing of Bhutto’s death, and surely adding to a near-incendiary situation in Pakistan. The BBC has posted a highly fitting, though very British, look at her life in pictures.

Once again, globally, all bets are off.

Written by typingisnotactivism

December 28, 2007 at 2:33 am

America The Stupid: prejudge this outcome.

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WHAT THE F#$K??!!!!! The United States effort to again derail climate change negotiations utterly defies any possibility of undamaged brain tissue.

Here are the two mantras for the little piggy cumsacks of the US delegation at the UN’s Bali conference.

- Including any detail regarding emission reduction targets for the wealthiest emitters of greenhouse gases is unacceptable, because it would be “to prejudge the outcome“.

- “All options are on the table

Now you may remember “all options are on the table” from such diplomatic triumphs as the overturning of the Geneva Convention, the invasion of Iraq, the hastened descent of the US into a complete police state, the 2008 aerial bombardment of Iran, climate change denial, and going down on Laura Bush. Obviously, the policy needs rewriting.

US delegations should instead declare that “all options are on crack“. That would at least be plausible.

But as for this new line of razor-edged anal beads, that committing to the minimum level of response necessary to marginally reduce the acceleration of global warming would be “to prejudge the outcome” of negotiations…. How goddamned brain damaged are you Nazi-bait bucket-c&%ted fist-whores in the Bush Administration that come up with this shit?

“Prejudge the outcome”? Is this the antithesis of “preemptive defence”? Which is itself analogous to “let’s rape and pillage that country before they get a chance to look at us funny”.

Preemptive defence – a nonsensical doctrine dreamed up by balding middle-aged neofascists who sniffed their mother’s panty-drawer hard enough to produce a lavender-infused psychotic aneurysm – is the military equivalent of stabbing cancer patients to death with a stick to reduce their risk of dying from a stroke.

Now the same genii who came up with this piece of diplomatic HIV have sent their new big gun to the review of Kyoto. Wouldn’t setting binding targets of at least 25% reduction in carbon emissions by 2020 be a step toward producing, rather than ‘prejudging’ the outcome?

It doesn’t even make fucking sense. Look at it: “we don’t want to prejudge the outcome”? From the same fucking stupid assholes who brought the English language “embolden”, “enhanced interrogation techniques”, “they hate our freedom” and “flip-flopper”.

“Oh America, you look so hot in the red glow of this simmering planet tonight. The way the blood drips thickly from your clenched, trembling fist just gets me so… oohhhhh. And the sweat steaming off your chest, just caught in shards of moonlight, as you pause briefly to breathe… panting heavily from the exertion of kicking in the doors, faces, and genitals of a Columbian mountain village… Spit runs down your stubbly man-chin and your eye squint hard against the barrage of piss the world rains down upon you, but you raise your face up and bask in the spray as if it’s the winner’s-podium champagne. Oh God, America, I tremble with excitement as you loudly shit your pants, scoop a handful of the brown stain into your twisted mouth and proclaim it to be milk chocolate. Oh America, I just want to pull out one of your ribs and beat your stupid, fat, fucking skull with it until you promise to liberate me! Liberate me America! Feed me a big, nutritious bowl of your piss-champagne shit-chocolate acid-junk AIDS-blood Liberty!!”

“Sorry baby, not tonight.”

“Why America? Oh why? Why? Why not here? Why not now? Why not yet?”

“Because, baby, that would be to prejudge the outcome”. 

Written by typingisnotactivism

December 14, 2007 at 6:56 pm

Puppy doused in petrol, left to die on 6-lane Freeway. Home needed.

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MEDIA RELEASE
12 December 2007

GIVE WAGS A HOME FOR CHRISTMAS

Wags is a brave five month old scruffy terrier pup who was left to die on a six lane highway doused in petrol. Having seizures and unable to stand, heavens knows how he is still alive. A good samaritan took him to a nearby vet clinic (Elizabeth Drive Animal Hospital) where he was treated, but still remains without a home.

waggs5394.jpgWags was put on a drip and anti-seizure medication and his burnt skin was treated with topical ointments. Despite all that he has endured, he is a happy, bright boy who continues to wag his tail! The vet clinic contacted Doggie Rescue where Wags is now eagerly waiting for a home with a happy and caring environment.

Founder Monika Biernacki said DoggieRescue is currently over-run with puppies who have been dumped in council pounds in the lead up to Christmas.

“In all the years of rescue work, I have never seen so many puppies dumped at one time and we still have two weeks to go until Christmas. DoggieRescue will have its doors open throughout Christmas and is looking for volunteers to help man their Doggiewood shelter.”

DoggieRescue is a no-kill charity dedicated to saving dogs on death row from the council pounds. It currently has more than 20 puppies, all under 5 months of age, waiting for homes. DoggieRescue is in urgent need of puppy dry food, puppy milk, tick prevention products and toys. The Doggiewood shelter is located at Ingleside in the northern beaches.

For photos and details of all puppies, visit www.DoggieRescue.com or call DoggieRescue on (02) 9486 3133 / international 61-2-9486 3133

———————————————–

This is a media release I received from Monika’s Doggie Rescue. The work they do is quite amazing, especially given that they get by in a more or less self-funded/ donation-dependent manner. At the moment they are looking after at least sixty dogs from ages of about 7 weeks to 10 or more years. It’s quite a thing to see, especially as they’re such lovely animals and would all now be dead without Doggie Rescue’s intervention. Whether you’re an international or local reader, if there’s anything you can do to help, however big or small, it would make a difference and it would definitely be appreciated.

Please check out their website and donate just a little time, food, or payola if you can. :)

Written by typingisnotactivism

December 13, 2007 at 1:23 pm

Prius drivers will kill the planet, but at least they look concerned.

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So check this out – I’ve just gone for a long run. I’m walking it off. It’s the middle of the night and the street is empty. Then I see this Prius nearby, with its distinctive toy-car-for-grownups shape, and its lights come on as it readies to pull away from the kerb.

Focusing on this car, there’s some kind of endorphin-hit coming on from the run because I almost feel like clapping the dude driving it. Yeah, I know – twee. So the car has turned around, and it’s heading up the street. It slows slightly and there’s the sound of a door opening, then there’s a hollow plasticky rattling sound, the driver’s door closes again, and he speeds off into the night…

… having  first thrown his empty bottle of springwater out of the car onto the road. The road, of course, leads to the drain, which leads to the ocean, which leads to an island of plastic refuse and garbage with a surface area greater than that of Australia.

So what’s the thought process?

“Hmmm, I spent $36 000 so that I would produce half as much carbon dioxide as other drivers. Fuck it, I’m going to live a little.” *dump*

or maybe

“Oh no – a plastic bottle! I am an elven upper-middle class planet-saver, and I must get this petrochemical-based filth away from me right away!!” *chuck* 

Written by typingisnotactivism

December 2, 2007 at 2:24 am

Drunken thugs brutalize whale

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Captain Paul Watson of Sea Shepherd has just posted this horrific recounting of a recent tortuous death inflicted by wannabe customary warriors:

(excerpt) The unsuspecting whale had no reason to fear the approach of the boat. After all, the whale had been in these waters for years without threat. People and boats were harmless. So when Parker drove the first harpoon into the whale’s back, the whale screamed in pained surprise and jerked on the line causing Wayne Johnson to drop the .50 caliber gun into the sea. In desperation the shocked amateur whalers sank three more harpoons into the whale and then they opened fire with a .460 Magnum rifle shooting 16 bullets into the whale’s body and failing to hit a vital organ.

It’s a tale that’s as disgusting and disturbing as it is aggravating and clarifying, but definitely worth taking the time to read.

The New Yorker, the prestigious journal known best to some through the fim Capote recently did a deeply dug profile on Watson & Sea Shepherd which you can check out here.

The Shepherds are in Australia at the moment preparing for this summer’s Operation Migaloo. Named after a white humpback whale (Migaloo is one tribe’s word for “white fella”) who seasonally travels the east coast of Australia, this Sea Shepherd operation has particular significance.

Under authority from… well…. from themselves, Japan have not only approved the slaughter of 950 minke and fin whales, but have added for the first time since their hunting was stopped 50 humpbacks. Still an endangered species, humpbacks have perhaps a greater emotional attachment and significance for mainstream Australians than any other whale. Furthermore, Migaloo follows on from last summer’s operation which saw Sea Shepherd prevent the deaths of around 500 whales by the Japanese, but also saw Greenpeace deliberately withold information about the whaling fleet from Sea Shepherd.

The Japanese whaling fleet was inconvenienced by fire and one human death aboard its all-important factory ship, the Nisshin Maru. More importantly, however, the pristine Antarctic ecosystem was threatened by the possibility of a massive industrial toxic spill.

This time around, Greenpeace are tracking the Japanese whalers with updates posted constantly – removing the p.r. need for them to block Sea Shepherd. Furthermore, before election the new Australian government made a commitment to use air and naval vessels to, at best, stop the slaughter. At lamest, they will monitor it.

Here’s hoping for a complete shutdown of the Maru crew this Summer. May their boats rust and their captains, owners and government minister f%&$ing starve.

Written by typingisnotactivism

November 26, 2007 at 1:03 am

Turnbull goes down screaming

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nagyon-depis-life-sucks.jpgMore like a 5-year old than a banshee – Malcolm ‘animal lover’ Turnbull has picked election day to prove that Geffrey Cousins isn’t the only millionaire who can place a full-page ad. The Liberal Party, according to this article, have placed a full-page ad telling the voters of Wentworth (Bondi, Kings Cross, Darlinghurst, Double Bay, etc.) that if they don’t make sure that Turnbull wins, his legal advice is that he can force a by-election.

Sounds like he gets his campaign advice from the same place as News Limited’s Caroline Overington.

Wait a minute… Of course he does. The husband of her good buddy and Oz-colleague, Janet Albrechtsen – John Howard’s culture-Scud on the ABC board – is his media advisor.

Wow. What a small world.

Written by typingisnotactivism

November 24, 2007 at 4:12 am

100% of John Howard’s front bench are…

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much winz to teh Howard Out blogotron.

Written by typingisnotactivism

November 13, 2007 at 11:46 pm

Posted in assholes, awesomeness

Tagged with

How they do business at The Australian?

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Check out this story – a senior journalist at The Austra-lyin’ wrote emails to independent Wentworth candidate Dani Ecuyer urging her to preference Malcolm Turnbull – her rival, and one of the key people for Australia’s sabotage of climate change action and for the approval of Gunns’ pulp mill project in Tassie. Turnbull is essentially the antithesis of everything Ecuyer is running in support of, and yet,

She has released an email exchange with The Australian newspaper journalist Caroline Overington, in which the reporter writes “Please preference Malcolm. It would be such a good front page story.”

Even on Star Trek where oversexed humans zapped around space at light speed with photon torpedoes and influenza, the crew knew they weren’t meant to influence the paths of other cultures. Here’s a senior writer for a paper which funds massive advertising b.s. about how awesome it is, asking a pro-environment candidate in what has become a very marginal seat to help return the Liberal anti-environment candidate.

Media Watch, the unique Australian show which guarantees the host a very limited number of journalistic career options for at least five years, has provided a deadly bit of coverage here chronicling the entire sage of communications to and about Ecuyer by the dark forces of  News Limited.

Hilariously, both Caroline Overington – the ‘journalist’ in question – and Chris Mitchell – editor-in-chief at The Australian – are claiming that the whole thing was just part of a friendly joke between girls. Seems like the same kind of contempt which they express for the nation’s collective intelligence each and every day.

Written by typingisnotactivism

November 13, 2007 at 9:03 am

Sea Shepherd Australian tour 2007/08

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This Australian summer, the Japanese whaling fleet will once again be trying to kill up  to a thousand whales in the Antarctic. The difference this time is that Japan has added the endangered and iconic humpback to the menu.

Kevin Rudd and Peter Garrett have promised that Australian naval vessels shall be used to interfere with and board any Japanese vessels breaking international or Australian law. Attorney-General Phil Ruddock, on the other hand, has again sought to derail legal action by Humane Society International by more or less dismissing legal action against Japan as futile.

The one group that whales can count on is Sea Shepherd. The buccaneer NGO is currently in southern waters preparing Operation Migaloo.

Captain Paul Watson and his fleet helped to prevent the deaths of over 500 whales in Antarctic waters last summer. And they’re back, apparently with even faster intercept capabilities.

“We are obsessed with stopping the Cetacean Death Star, that viciously cruel killing machine otherwise known as the Nisshin Maru, and her ruthless fleet of hunter/killer boats armed with their explosive deadly blunt harpoons,” said Captain Watson.  “Because if we kill the whales, the sharks, the seals, and the sea turtles, we will destroy the very foundation of life in the oceans-and in so doing, we will destroy humankind.”

“I did not establish the Sea Shepherd Conservation Society as a protest organization,” said Captain Watson. “I have not gone to sea over all these years to simply bear witness to the atrocities that whalers continue to inflict upon the most gentle and intelligent beings in the seas. We are sea cops-operating legally under the guidelines of the United Nation’s World Charter for Nature, which allow for the enforcement of international conservation law by non-governmental organizations in international jurisdictions.”

The Shepherds will again be enforcing international law this summer although there is a slim chance that they may receive commendation rather than criticism from the Australian government this time around.

 Supporters are welcome to donate food (vegan), equipment, and finance. There are also opportunities to volunteer as crew, with part of the fleet currently docked in Tasmania.

Visit seashepherd.org for information, or contact the Melbourne Sea Shepherd office.

Written by typingisnotactivism

November 11, 2007 at 7:36 pm

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