typing is not activism….

environ mentalism, fresh articles, interviews & checkitouts from Sydney.

Archive for the ‘LOLnews’ Category

Juicy behind the scenes rumours from US election

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Sorry for the sleazy title, but if you’ve got such a problem with it, how did you end up here?

Turns out that Newsweak (NOT a typo) has been running a little project via its journalists, gathering anything not-fit-for-print or off-the-record pre-election to release post-election.

Genii.

Although it’s quite hilarious to read that Sarah Palin couldn’t grasp that Africa is a “continent” rather than a “country”, the eye-catching bit of awesomeness is a comment from Obama, in which he (rightly) derides the debate stage show.

When he was preparing for the Democratic primary debates, Obama was recorded saying, “I don’t consider this to be a good format for me, which makes me more cautious. I often find myself trapped by the questions and thinking to myself, ‘You know, this is a stupid question, but let me … answer it.’ So when Brian Williams is asking me about what’s a personal thing that you’ve done [that’s green], and I say, you know, ‘Well, I planted a bunch of trees.’ And he says, ‘I’m talking about personal.’ What I’m thinking in my head is, ‘Well, the truth is, Brian, we can’t solve global warming because I f—ing changed light bulbs in my house. It’s because of something collective’.

Apart from it being reassuring to know that Obama uses the F word, how on-the-money is that assessment of feelgood new age greenness. Lovin’ it. Gobama!

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November 6, 2008 at 7:52 pm

4 cool sites

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Bono, retire from public life and we’ll donate a ton of money to fight AIDS is exactly what it sounds like. Gotta love that. Turns out that the RED campaign has spent more on marketing associated brands – like American Express – than it has actually raised for charity. Hmmm. What does that sound like….?

And given the European land war currently gearing up in Georgia, Undernews seems a gem of a discovery – particularly with regard to this article detailing the involvement of Israeli & US oil interests in Georgia in the lead up to Russia’s use of the American regime-change-for-personal-gain model of diplomacy. Speaking of which, there’s also this article on preparations for a naval blockade of Iran. And those are just today’s entries.

Hmmm… Certainly less pompous than a lot of the writing at Counterpunch. Could be a new favourite American-based international news and analysis site.

And ditching blah for wah – check out Natalia Paruz. Better known as “Saw Lady”…

is iiiiincrediiiiible. Go swoon at SawLady.com for more freaky goodness….

And finally, not just for Trekkies but for anyone with working eye glands…

That’s not a special effect. It’s a ‘pho-to’ from APOD – NASA’s Astronomy Picture of the Day archive. It’s cool that they do more than just invent frying pans, fix toilets, and get silenced over global warming, eh?

Tasmanian Bum Puppet Paul Lennon Finally Pisses Off

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ANOTHER ONE BITES THE DUST!!!!

(by DJ Lobsterdust)

Woo Hoo!!!!! Paul Lennon has run out of scapegoat deputies and finally resigned as Premier of Tasmania. In what may be one of the only political moves he has ever made in the genuine interest of Tasmania’s populace and future generations, Big Red finally pulled the plug on his untenable losership blaming his 17% popularity rating and the needs of the party, rather than the fact that health claims about the vitamin content of Coco Pops are widely considered more credible than he is.

It will only be to make way for a slightly less oafish brand of corporate lackey douchebaggitora sociopathica, but bugger it – that’s something to get depressed about tomorrow and every day thereafter. For now, it’s time to pop corks and light whatever your preferred flavour of fat one might be.

Lovely bit from Tasmanian Times here – guessing their offices erupted into some sort of Bacchanalian orgy with in seconds of Big Fat Red finally making the announcement that TT had so long been anticipating. As they say,

The disaster of the pulp mill became more about the erosion of democracy and public trust than it was even about the environment. If it was the most glaring example of Paul Lennon’s contempt for proper governance and indifference to democratic process, he was here only following where Bacon had trod. At his ascension Lennon made much of his determination to fulfill Bacon’s vision for Tasmania. How could he know it also portended his own tragedy?

For he lacked Bacon’s charisma. Perhaps his greatest political failure was to be too honest about all that Bacon covered over with his undoubted public charm.

Lennon is now gone.

Even in the moment of final “Good Riddance”, the Mercury – “Tasmania’s leading source of frequently pro-government pap propped up by ad dollars” – has seen fit to run a blancmange of cut-and-pasted infobytes and ministerial quotes which more or less neglects to mention the curry-fart cloud of corruption and big-money-friendly bloody-mindedness hanging over the squinty eyed Big Red One for the last decade or so.

Nevertheless, at least the Mercury has chosen to mention on this fine day that Gunns are having some trouble getting the cash for their toxic planet-raping bog roll enabling Pulp Mill. Seems that ANZ are backing away from the project under the guise of credit concerns, rather than risking future industry dollars by bluntly opposing any project that might make the Exxon Valdez seem like a hiccough.

I don’t share the optimism of pundits who think that the departure of Lennon means a sure end to the pulp mill, nor do I think that ANZ’s unwillingness to fund the bastardry – even if this is officially confirmed in the fullness of time – is a guaranteed end to the world’s biggest, stupidest pulp mill. What is needed for 200 000 hectares of forest to rest easy is for John Gay to announce the project’s demise to the ASX, and for Peter Garrett to rescind any and all outstanding approvals related to the project. Given that Garrett just last week approved the construction of mill worker’s quarters, the gigantic forest-eater may yet have legs… ugly, gnarled, wart-infested, pus-dripping legs.

Read comments by the Tassie public here and here – seems most people are calling for a massive piss-up or a public holiday to properly acknowledge Lennon’s departure.

Written by typingisnotactivism

May 26, 2008 at 1:46 pm

Blackwater – a key element of sewage

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from the always darkly angrily hilariously twisted Get Your War On….

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November 17, 2007 at 10:45 am

Proof that Climate Change skeptics…

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… and Reuters news service are douchebags.

How great is this story : Hoax bacteria study tricks climate skeptics!!

Some utter legends went to the effort of setting up this fake website for the non-existent “Journal of Geoclimatic Studies”. They published this report which details how ocean bacteria emit more than 300 times the carbon dioxide produced by human activities and that therefore man-made global warming is a myth.

Of course, it’s possible that the ‘creators’ were seeking to further fuel the pro-skepticism propaganda leech-pit, but I can’t help thinking that this profound introduction was written with tongue-in-cheek and middle finger raised high:

We have also taken the unprecedented step of making the paper freely available on our website: something we have been reluctant to do in the past because of our severe budgetary constraints. We hope that even if the paper is dismissed and ignored by those who subscribe to the “consensus” position on climate change, the truth will eventually seep out. We accept that this is not the best route for scientific discourse to take, but none better appears to be available. We publish in trepidation, but in the knowledge that it is the right thing to do.

That intro + context = cheeky satirical genius!

Climate skeptics jumped on the report as the ultimate vindication, the smoking gun, the undeniable proof – one emailed the report to 2000 contacts proclaiming as much. Stupid bloody greenies, trying to save trees and radically alter the future of human progress when all they really need to do is kill the oceans (more than we have already, of course).

Only thing is that, yes, it’s a prank. But it’s a constructive prank from which people should gain wisdom and insight, as opposed to the destructive hoax still being played out by ignorant knuckle-monkeys like James Inhofe. Doubt, profiteering and delay continue to be the real hoax.

Somehow, though, Reuters frames this outstanding piece of activism as an affront to climate skeptics. A more appropriate title would have been “Hoax bacteria study proves that climate skeptics are f#$&ing tools, period“.

add to kwoff

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November 9, 2007 at 6:06 pm

Aussie Green Blog props LOL pols on Flickr (aka LOLiticians)

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…you get the idea. Check out the LOL POLS group on Flickr. Have a rofl or may a submishn. Currently is fun, but may evolve to status of therapy over next 5 weeks.

Thanks Greens – good tip! (Do check out the Greens blog by the way – is more down to earth than other parties’ staff-maintained MySpac pages).

COALition can not haz cheezburger!!! 

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October 22, 2007 at 5:39 pm

an election date with John Howard – hawt!!

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Mmmmm yummy!! A good man is hard to find, so look no further girls and ladyboys. We’ve got a real hawtee for you today. Unfortunately the ad is a couple of years old but all the changes have been for the better. Less hair on the head for tangle-free thinking, more hair on the eyebrows for being taken really srsly internationally, and the invasion fetish may seem a bit subdued lately but only because he’s realized there are plenty of countries that can be invaded right here at home. . . and think of the fuel savings! Ready your Australia Card, he’s coming aboard…
johnny-dreamdate.jpg

Capture some carbon with Johnny Big Oil today – he’ll warm your globe, right after he’s inserted his vapid preamble given your future generations some lip service. Mmmmmmm, lip service.

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October 18, 2007 at 9:47 am

wwworldwide John Howard caption contest!!!

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John Howard’s beloved Liberal Party had their website hacked by some freedom-loving web ninjas. EXCELLENT!!! The story’s here in Rupert’s always-aptly-titled News Limited, who have of course censored the ‘lewd’ message.

I’m guessing that John Howard says:

“I like to suck dick”. It would be cooler if it said “I like to suck dicks this big”, or “I once stuck my fist this far up a refugee,” or, best of all “I don’t care if a bloke sucks dicks this big, he and his partner should still have the same legal standing as everybody else”.

 

 

There are so many possible messages that would fit here. Please make your suggestions in the comments section and I promise to do something amazing with the best ones in the lead-up to our federal election.

Scoopit!

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October 10, 2007 at 7:48 pm

Dubya vs. Miss South Carolina

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Doomed.

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September 17, 2007 at 12:38 pm

APEC Bin Laden – Sydney’s $300 million joke needed a bloody good punchline. Thanks Chaser arrestees, you rock!!

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update – check this story out and this one– the remaining members of The Chaser crew who weren’t arrested on Thursday went in today in a 3-car motorcade… made of cardboard.

Stopped. Questioned. Held. Not Charged. Released.

We don’t need the Defence Forces and Police. We just need about 140 000 Chaser trainees. That would truly be the shit. It might even solve this problem that Aussie politicians are having of trying to out-not-amused each other. Jerkovz.

Wow – Bin Laden knew he was in trouble when confronted by a riot cop, a leather cop, and a suit cop. Maybe he should have flown.

The Chaser’s War On Everything lived up to its name today – beautifully. The snipers all over Sydney must either have shitty aim or great magnification because that is one convincing-ass costume. Australia’s most participatory journos took a mini-motorcade to within about 10 metres of the hotel where Satan’s Anal Fissure (aka George Bush) is staying in Sydney. They went dressed as Canada because it seemed like a believably mini-motorcade choice to make. Perhaps also as a reference to the fact that Bin Laden is actually hiding in Canada, which everyone already knows.

They were charged and released this afternoon. Hopefully none of them will end up with the six-month jail sentences possible. Hopefully they’ll get 100 hours community service – which would mean playing 10 minutes of this footage 600 times in a public space, basically.

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September 7, 2007 at 1:45 am

This election – Vote for a BABE!!

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A new non-governmental lobby group was formed this week in response to months of sickeningly desperate media thespianism by Australian politicians. Babies Against Blatant Exploitation (B.A.B.E.) have sworn to puke, poop, pee, or keep parents awake with incessant screaming everytime that John Howard touches, kisses, or poses with an infant for the next four months. They say that they know now how their mothers feel because Howard is really getting on their tits.
While BABE is non-partisan, bookies have Howard as favourite at 4-3 being most likely to be the next politician to give babies the screaming shits.

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August 26, 2007 at 4:59 pm

Aussie PM John Howard Announces Federal Electro Campaign

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pssst. . . . . . down here.
MixMaster Melvin & The Morons

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August 15, 2007 at 4:35 pm

George Bush hands power to Cheney – evil plot with John Howard exposed!!!

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Bush explains the procedure during a national speaking tourTurns out that George had to be sedated for a colon cancer exam (what year did General Sphincter cross into Delaware? When did Major Asshole take the Presidency? etc.) and while he’s sedated, power is officially passed to Cheney.

Read those last 6 words again – any sentence which ends in those words and does not involve an electric chair or a car battery is a baaad sentence.

It may well be that John Howard has had his face buried between George’s butt cheeksTweedledork & Tweedledick in Sydney over the last 6 years for entirely different reasons than we assumed (you know – desperation). Renowned for talking nuclear shit, little Johnny may well have been dosing Dubya’s cornhole with sufficient gamma radiation to bring about another overthrow in the US. While the real fake president is sedated as brain surgery is conducted on his glowing green ass, Halliburton will finally officially incorporate the White House – most likely as a tax loss or swap for oil.

All the quality time Johnny spent with Dick in Sydney may have been over something far more sinister than two short bald men with bad eyesight having a beer in plain view.

Colon may yet see Bush swept aside by the rise of Dick.

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July 22, 2007 at 12:56 am

An Australian Musical Tribute to the Fighting Spirit of the Pasha Bulker.

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nah, just f%&#ing with ya. In the joy of all things LOL, with props for the best and larfs to the rest – some quick LOLpics from the post-mega-storm goings-on in Newcastle.

s2-grownded.jpg

Also thinkin ‘i iz in yer foarshoar, spillin bilge on yer pengwinz‘. Read the rest of this entry »

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July 2, 2007 at 11:56 am