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Archive for the ‘opinion’ Category

Australian Senate Chokes on Carbon Bill

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Senator Stephen ‘Peaked in Pre-School’ Fielding truly is the pubic hair stuck in the throat of Australian democracy. Imposed on us by a Labor Party too control-hungry to preference Greens, he has probably cost the country $7B in compensation to heavily polluting industries – such as coal, electricity, and aluminium production – and ensured the creation and imposition of a weak, flawed, messy, and ineffective Carbon Pollution Reduction Scheme – more accurately referred to by Greens Senator Rachel Siewert as the Coal Profits Retention Scheme.

Stephen Feel Ding underestimates his answer to the question, 'how stupid am I?'

Without Fielding, the timid and thumb-twiddling government could negotiate with a crossbench more likely made up of progressives with sufficient votes to secure a majority, rather than having to target a confused and even more visionless opposition, knowing that any possibility for a crossbench majority is stymied by the presence of Lord Effwit.

Speaking to the Senate just now about the proposed bundle of carbon legislation, Fielding has again emphasized his credentials as an engineer, and therefore a scientist in much the same way that an abattoir-worker might claim accreditation as a surgeon. He attributed the hysteria surrounding climate change to the brutal and self-interested ostracisation of all those brilliant scientists who argue that climate change has nothing to do with carbon, if it is even happening at all. Furthermore, he blamed that vicious piece of propaganda by Al Gore – The Innocent Truth. Oops. Duh.

At least Fielding called for sanity. We have been all carried away by this notion that exponential carbon emissions since 1995 are impacting global warming, when it hasn’t been increasingly hot every single year. After all, in Australia we have only had 8 of this country’s 10 hottest years since 2000, as have many countries around the planet.

But then again, Fielding is the only person in the Australian Parliament who realizes that Copenhagen is best pronounced as two words (Copen *pause 2 3 4* Hagen).

These idiots who think that lack of absolute proof is proof of absolute lack understand not even the slightest portion of the incredibly complex and ever-growing body of climate science. Even in the early ‘90s, scientists were clear in the fact that part of the model’s predictability must necessarily be its unpredictability. Idiot mouthpieces who triumphantly proclaim that the climate’s refusal to behave as uniformly predictably as Lego somehow disproves 2500 of the world’s leading climate scientists’ conservative predictions would perhaps better serve humanity as involuntary organ donors.

I’m looking at you, Fielding… Abetz… etc.

Then again, climate opportunist George Monbiot has chosen to expose the entire Global Warming Conspiracy today, so I should probably just shut up and enjoy the climatic mundanity.

Written by typingisnotactivism

November 25, 2009 at 11:15 am

Good Riddance: SMH Editor Alan Oakley Hands Over the Race-baiting Ignorance Flogging Boob-soaked Flesh Wand of Destiny.

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Alan Oakley

Former SMH Editor

STILL A TOTAL KNOB

Of course it’s not all good news. The Zionist douchebag did step down yesterday – whatever that means is yet to be clear – but has apparently been offered an important strategic position at Fairfax. That probably means he’ll be getting paid six figures to Photoshop well-oiled breasts on to dead Arabs and equally dead polar bears.

As always, the Herald’s own article about the departure of one of Fairfax’s own is a vapid piece of sh*t which quite literally functions as nothing more than a press release. How quality of the paper is it that today another executive, David Kirk, has been dumped, so they sent an intern round to his back fence to take this photo.

What a shame he wasn’t pissing on a tree or rolling drunk and morbid in his own vomit at the time. Still, they have at least managed to make him appear mildly depressed, even though he’s actually just busy sending a text message.

The Australian’s article about Oakley’s departure from the Simply Moaning Hairball at least makes clear why he felt it necessary to turn the paper into a piece of glamorous mindless populist piece of turd largely written at a fourth grade reading and analysis level. Seems his lateral elevation was all about Sunday papers – tits, car ads, and Michael Jackson stories, basically.

Anyway – good riddance. If the Herald hadn’t formerly been a very worthwhile newspaper, and if it wasn’t still holding a stable of very good writers and journalists, then there would be no reason for frustration with the wad of 90% trans-fats that it has become in the last two+ years under Oakley and the completely visionless board of Fairfax.

One might hope that Oakley’s departure will open the door for a dramatic improvement of the ailing newspaper culture at the Sydney Morning Herald and Farifax’s other outposts, but based on their sustained form there is little reason for that hope.

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December 5, 2008 at 1:34 pm

Michael Duffy is a moron; why does Fairfax pay him?

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It is strange that Fairfax, the publisher of Sydney Morning Herald, puts out a far better paper in Melbourne – The Age – than they do in Sydney. It could perhaps be because the Sydney editor is a nonce. But that doesn’t explain why the hell Fairfax employ a conservative editor in what continually tries to be a progressive society. Perhaps they would rather we resist that impulse.

Or they think we are idiots, which would explain why they keep on their stable of narcissistic pundits-of-no-merit. Like Miranda Devine. Like Gerard Henderson (could somebody pleeeease tell him that John Howard is gone already). Like Michael Duffy.

Duffy is like a tumour that masquerades as a boil. His bio is hilarious – he relaunched his image at the Herald lately by presenting himself as aged cool like a turd with chocolate sprinkles, making special efforts to emphasize that he has been on the dole, AND played in bands. I would bet Madonna’s left nut that they were horrible pieces of shit who largely played or ripped off other people’s songs that sucked way before they even lost all relevance.. Because this feels like the kind of guy that Duffy is, and it’s exactly the way that he manages information. He’s like some second rate Christopher Pyne trying to present as a first rate Shaun Micallef, thereby coming across quite a bit like a skid mark from Peter Costello’s underpants but without the charisma.

In the tradition of ripping off shit that need never have been exuded in the first place, skunkjunk has just run an op ed in the Herald Truly inconvenient truths about climate change being ignored. Wow! Genius! Who would have ever thought to use the title of an increasingly old movie ironically in pursuit of climate change denial? Never. Seen. That. Done. A. Million. Times. Already.

And what a piece of crap it is.

Someone else who’s looked closely at scientific journals (although not specifically those dealing with climate science) is epidemiologist John Ioannidis of the Tufts University School of Medicine in Boston. He reached the surprising conclusion that most published research findings are proved false within five years of their publication. (Lest he be dismissed as some eccentric, I note that the Economist recently said Ioannidis has made his case “quite convincingly”.)

So, one of Duffy’s convincing sources reads magazines that aren’t anything to do with climate science, and has found inconsistencies in those non-climate findings which a non-climate magazine has apparently once agreed add up to some kind of non-climate argument, and therefore climate change is bogus? I’m so convinced, I must read further. Read the rest of this entry »

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November 8, 2008 at 2:32 pm

Obama v. Clinton defined

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I’ve resisted any temptation to post about the US primaries simply because when kids are screaming and whining it’s not a situation that’s going to benefit from more attention. But this line from an article by Jonathan Freedland following the Texas-Ohio-Mordor primaries just nails it:

Democrats could be facing a choice between a woman who can win the party nomination but not the presidency and a man who could win the presidency but not his party’s nomination.

And this picture by Mr. Fish says as much:

I really think that American politics is way out in front in the global race to the bottom, Orwell-fantacizing irony-missing fart-sniffing bullshit-spouting sweepstakes, but Jeezus Effing Christ! After this week’s tri-state clusterfukkk, Hillary emailed her supporters to say that

Together, we are making history and showing every little girl in America that she can be anything she wants to be.

Now I may be mistaken, but I think that if Barack Obama emailed his supporters to say

Together, we are making history and showing every little black in America that they can be anything they want to be.

then the response would be an almighty “WTF?”. Which leaves me feeling pretty confident in my diagnosis of Billary as the all-time passive aggressive power-hungry hypocritical pantsuit motherfucker ever.

Your democracy is a joke America. I’m skipping the wait and printing up my Chelsea 2024 t-shirt now.

McCain may be a big White Elephant, but the Democrats are really a bunch of asses. It’s increasingly obvious how their own system worked to deliver the astoundingly pointless John Kerry as some kind of wannabe answer to George Dumber-than-you Bush. Maybe Barack should angle to be dismissed as a lesbian by Bill Clinton, then he too could claim to have Hillary’s level of leading edge experience in being close to the presidency.

Hi I’m Barack Obama. Bill Clinton wouldn’t fuck me, so how about giving me a chance to not fuck you.

I mean, really, anybody using the fact that they served cucumber sandwiches to visiting dignitaries and went on tourist jaunst to ’80 countries on the taxpayer-dime as a reason to vote for them really must just not have anything better to offer.

God knows Dennis Thatcher would do an awesome job of running Britain, eh what?

Written by typingisnotactivism

March 8, 2008 at 9:44 pm

Tassie Devils trapped in forestry Hell.

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Kind of strange that the “Save the Tassie Devil” website is posted by the Tasmanian Department of Primary Industries and Water, also known as the Department of Slime and Industrial Slaughter. Funny that the website tries to make the devil out to be cuddly and pitch it to Japanese tourists, like this

when the reality, the utterly malignant and horrid reality, is that more and more Tasmanian Devils are being delivered unto an even crueler and more painful fate like this:

Some are tipping the Devil for extinction within a matter of decades. Even though the so-called Devil Tumour Facial Disease (DTFD) was first classified in 1996, fuck all has been done until now by the Tasmanian government. Why? Because it’s just the environment. It’s just an animal. It’s just a low-grade tourism attraction. Let’s not do anything until it’s at absolute crisis point because all that will be left to do by then will be to watch the last bunch die and say some nice sad words, then get back to the business of turnng Tasmania into one big toxic splintery carpark.

Which happens to be something that the DPIW is well into, when they aren’t throwing up token websites telling tourists that it’s okay to come and spend your yen in Tassie because nobody marries their sister there anymore. Of course there has been kerfuffle lately around the notion that chemicals from abandoned fridges are the main catalyst for this horrific condition that is decimating the devil population, but scientists close to the problem aren’t yet buying into that position.

My bet is that once it’s too late, someone with qualifications will work out that it was the accumulation of Tassie government-subsidised 1080, atrazine, and other hardcore chemicals used in the clearfelling processes that continue to destroy devil habitat, somehow interacting into a spiky and horrible cancer cocktail which is causing such suffering and doom for the devils. Still, an American scientist thinks that there may be an$wer$ for human cancer in treating the devils, so they may have more than a hope in hell.

If this is something you would like to know more about, there is a very proper treatment of the situation with a detailed background here and here in parts I & II of David Obendorf’s ‘Poison Island’. Thoroughly worthy reading about one more possibly irreversible tragedy in the making.

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February 18, 2008 at 2:10 am

Brendan Nelson: a sorry human being…

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…but for the wrong reasons.

still a bunch of Howtards

Like most of the lip service Liberal/National(ist) opposition, he still misses the point. By miles.

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February 13, 2008 at 1:08 pm

Greenpeace is lying and stealing your money

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by Captain Paul Watson of Sea Shepherd, first posted at Counterpunch, and properly titled

How Greenpeace Cashes In on the Suffering and Death of the Great Whales

The Other Whaling Industry

By Captain PAUL WATSON

On board the Sea Shepherd ship Steve Irwin.

“It does not matter what is true, it only matters what people believe is true.”

— Dr. Patrick Moore, President of Greenpeace Canada 1981

As the Sea Shepherd Conservation Society struggles to borrow and raise enough funds to return to the Southern Ocean, we feel incredibly frustrated by the fact that tens of millions of dollars have already been raised to defend the whales yet this money is not being spent for that purpose and it will not help put fuel in our tanks to resume our defense of the whales.

Enough is enough. The Greenpeace fraud about saving the whales must be exposed. For years, I have been tolerating their pretense of action and watching them turn their ocean posing photo ops into tremendous profits from whaling. And now they say they can’t return to the Southern Oceans with their ship the Esperanza because they don’t have the budget for it and because they are going to direct their energies into lobbying for change inside Japan.

Yet they still continue to collect money to save the whales. Greenpeace has booked all online advertising in the major Australian and New Zealand newspapers. Their ads are splashed across the internet from Google to MySpace. Send money, send more money. Television ads, millions of pieces of direct mail.

Greenpeace International raised 127 Million Euros last year. Greenpeace Australia has about 18 million dollars in the bank. Greenpeace USA sits on tens of millions of dollars. Yet they claim they do not have the budget to return to the Southern Oceans yet they also claim they stopped the whalers for two weeks in January, and if such a claim is true then they should go back and stop them again.

But they will not. They have surrendered the Whale Sanctuary to the whalers yet the ads keep popping up and the contributions keep flowing into the Greenpeace coffers. It is incredibly frustrating to see stories about Sea Shepherd’s successful interventions against illegal Japanese whaling usually sprinkled with criticisms by Greenpeace about our methods. And right beside these articles pops up an ad asking the public to send money to support Greenpeace. Even if Sea Shepherd wanted to invest in these ads, we cannot because Greenpeace has booked all the ad space for three months.

Greenpeace makes more money from anti-whaling than Norway and Iceland combined make from whaling. In both cases, the whales die and someone profits. We continue to receive reports from people who have received highly emotional appeals from Greenpeace for money to save the whales including appeals to help refuel their ship.

This is simply out and out fraud. Read the rest of this entry »

Written by typingisnotactivism

February 9, 2008 at 4:25 am

news highlights of the week.

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Satan’s very own trouser stain went to Israel and went beyond the usual ‘talking shit’ to get into the talking of ‘holy shit‘. Even though Bush was selling masses of weapons to Israel at the precise moment that Palestinian civilians were being killed in their homes, even though the legitimate election of Hamas resulted in a Western tantrum and further restrictions on food and security for the hungry, this prick now thinks he can clean up his CV with some handshake photo-ops with the weakest leaders of Israel and Palestine respectively in years. Not to mention firing off some crap about fighting the evil doers who hate freedom. Duh George, irony.

Still, at least he won popular appreciation for his typically insightful humour:

“You’ll be happy to know, my whole motorcade of a mere 45 cars was able to make it through without being stopped,” Bush said after being asked about the 30-minute journey from Jerusalem and Ramallah.

“I’m not so exactly sure that’s what happens to the average person.”

The average person gets beaten up by Israeli forces armed, trained, and financed by your government, George, becaue you have money for strategic military aid but none for genuine humanitarian needs… but good gag about the check points. ha. ha.

Arnold Schwarzenegger took lots of steroids and never gave back any trophies. He’s a multimillionaire movie star governor and rightly so, I guess. Marion Jones took steroids, has given back 5 Olympic medals, had race results from 7 years ago cancelled, and been sentenced to 6 months jail, 400 hours community service, and 2 years of good behaviour. Forget all the reasons given and the fluffy explanations of instant analysts. She was successful, she’s still black. That’s why this is being done to her. End of story.

The Guardian came out with its list of the 50 people most likely to help save the planet, and it’s definitely worth reading. Obviously there are mistakes, like the inclusion of Bjorn Lomborg – an overrated statistician who does his best to be mistaken for an objective authority and critical thinker. Obviously the inclusion of Peter Garrett is interesting – because Bob Brown and Christine Milne have been left out, because he is in on the basis of his efforts regarding climate change (which have officially been ‘0’), because it may well be an accurate forecast.

Speaking of planetary saviours, Paul Watson’s Sea Shepherd are still trawling the Antarctic waters in search of the Japanese whaling fleet. For all their pre-election noise, the new federal government have been utterly disappointing on the whale hunt front. Although combined US and Australian pressure saw humpbacks taken off the Japanese menu, it could be readily speculated that this was always the Japanese intention. By distracting diplomacy and outrage with their proclaimed intent to kill endangered and high profile humpbacks, the Japanese whalers won both gullible kudos and increased space for harpoon-play by rescinding this particular plan – which may never have actually been any more than a ploy.

Not only are the government doing nothing, they’re doing it actively by withholding information about Japanese whereabouts from the Sea Shephered and Greenpeace ships who could take action. Although Greenpeace finally caught up to the whalers later in the week, their new “hands-on, down-and-dirty” branding still doesn’t extend to sharing info with Sea Shepherd – something they have specifically refused to do in the past. To highlight how similarly limp-wristed the federal ALP’s effort has been, Sea Shepherd appointed former Liberal Environment Minister Ian Campbell to their board this week. He takes up a spot beside Terri Irwin, Sean Penn, and others.

Of course, environmentally, a huge piece of news this week was that China has moved to ban plastic shopping bags. The mighty nation currently goes through 3 billion bags every day. They have set a legally binding target of June 1 2008 as the date on which this will no longer occur at all. Not to be outdone, the following day Peter Garrett proclaimed that Australia would ban plastic shopping bags by the end of this year. He managed to claim most of the credit for this comparatively lightweight gesture without making any mention of China.

Also ignored by Australian media, CIA papers from 1974 were released detailing how American analysis at the time confirmed that Israel was developing a nuclear weapons capability. Certainly more convincing than anything they’ve come out with about Iran. Or Iraq (where yet another new ‘official’ death toll has come out – 151 000). Or North Korea. Even though N. Korea conducted an atomic test. To better understand why journalists and news media spend far too much time with their heads firmly up each other’s asses, this piece from Politico is exceptionally useful – not to mention a fun read. Oops, I mentioned it. Called “Why reporters get it wrong” the piece tries to grapple with the wake of the Hillary Clinton resurrection one day before she was officially due to be buried.

And the absolutely legendary achievement of the week has to go to James Castrission and Justin Jones. The young Aussie kayaking duo finally expect to hit land later this morning. After 60 days of rowing, covering over 3000 kilometres when they set out aiming to cover 2200, and with their legs and bodies wasting away, the story of these young men fighting horrendous conditions, a massive challenge of endurance, and their own internal processes has been riveting. Catch up on their story via the Crossing the Ditch website.

And although it probably fits in somewhere between religious bullshit and animal torture, a Footscray man ended up in court for buying an 11-year old girl high heeled shoes and asking her to kick him in the genitals. If the shoe fits….

Written by typingisnotactivism

January 13, 2008 at 3:37 am

Merry Christ mess.

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So this is Christmas, and what have you done?

Another year o-ver, a noo one jus’ begu-u-un.

Nice work Band Aid. Let’s just ignore the crucified elephant in the room. Baby Jesus. Christians are about to perform a global Mexican Wave of celebration in the name of unlikely child birth – and that’s cool. But spare a thought for the Sikhs, Buddhists, Hindus, Muslims, Atheists, Agnostics, Godless Cocksucking Republicans, and French President Monsieur Blahlahblah Sarkozy, aka Godless Shiteating French Piss Monkey. It’s at this time of year that they/we/I realize that I/we/they just don’t have a creation myth that stands up to the one dictated from Vatican City.

So powerful is this creation myth that even though Pope Benedict Whateverth is clearly the evil emperor from Star Wars, he is still believed by over a billion people to be the left hand of God on Earth. Obviously, God’s right hand has no idea what his/her left hand is doing. That’s understandable. If you’re meant to simultaneously exist at all points of the known and unknown universe, your hands are likely quite far apart. Distance between good movies featuring Ben Affleck far apart. And then some.

Any organisation that is against birth control and in favour of human domination of the planet as some kind of divine right, all things given, really should be getting scratched CDs and used undies from Santa this Xmas is all I’m saying. And what’s with “Xmas”? Total commercialisation somehow hasn’t taken the Christ sufficiently out of the concept, so somebody decided to take the Christ out of the whole word?

Personally, I agree with many people who think that Jesus was an amazing tuned in cat whose words and actions have been censored, twisted, and exploited in an agenda-driven manner that is in no small part responsible for the suffering and death of hundreds of millions of people throughout the ages.

Funny how some people who can believe in virgin birth and life after death have such a problem accepting the basics of photosynthesis; the deaths and suffering of the Inquisition and the Crusades will likely pale into insignificance beside the upheaval and misery directly attributable to global warming within the next century. Where’s the church on this? Down the back, competing with governments and corporations to be the last to speak or, more importantly, act decisively.

The story of Eden is in so many ways a parable for our daily lives, but for this: we have eaten the apple of knowledge and rather than being evicted from the garden we have stayed behind to fill it with oil-poison, toxic-filth, genetic modification, ebola and napalm.

Of course some think that the snake, the serpent, a creature which feeds on the sun and moves on the earth, is a symbol of nature. And that nature, therefore, must be treated as evil. Which might explain a lot –  not just of what has happened, but what is happening and what is to come.

Oh yeah. Merry Christmas.

Written by typingisnotactivism

December 25, 2007 at 12:01 am

America The Stupid: prejudge this outcome.

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WHAT THE F#$K??!!!!! The United States effort to again derail climate change negotiations utterly defies any possibility of undamaged brain tissue.

Here are the two mantras for the little piggy cumsacks of the US delegation at the UN’s Bali conference.

– Including any detail regarding emission reduction targets for the wealthiest emitters of greenhouse gases is unacceptable, because it would be “to prejudge the outcome“.

– “All options are on the table

Now you may remember “all options are on the table” from such diplomatic triumphs as the overturning of the Geneva Convention, the invasion of Iraq, the hastened descent of the US into a complete police state, the 2008 aerial bombardment of Iran, climate change denial, and going down on Laura Bush. Obviously, the policy needs rewriting.

US delegations should instead declare that “all options are on crack“. That would at least be plausible.

But as for this new line of razor-edged anal beads, that committing to the minimum level of response necessary to marginally reduce the acceleration of global warming would be “to prejudge the outcome” of negotiations…. How goddamned brain damaged are you Nazi-bait bucket-c&%ted fist-whores in the Bush Administration that come up with this shit?

“Prejudge the outcome”? Is this the antithesis of “preemptive defence”? Which is itself analogous to “let’s rape and pillage that country before they get a chance to look at us funny”.

Preemptive defence – a nonsensical doctrine dreamed up by balding middle-aged neofascists who sniffed their mother’s panty-drawer hard enough to produce a lavender-infused psychotic aneurysm – is the military equivalent of stabbing cancer patients to death with a stick to reduce their risk of dying from a stroke.

Now the same genii who came up with this piece of diplomatic HIV have sent their new big gun to the review of Kyoto. Wouldn’t setting binding targets of at least 25% reduction in carbon emissions by 2020 be a step toward producing, rather than ‘prejudging’ the outcome?

It doesn’t even make fucking sense. Look at it: “we don’t want to prejudge the outcome”? From the same fucking stupid assholes who brought the English language “embolden”, “enhanced interrogation techniques”, “they hate our freedom” and “flip-flopper”.

“Oh America, you look so hot in the red glow of this simmering planet tonight. The way the blood drips thickly from your clenched, trembling fist just gets me so… oohhhhh. And the sweat steaming off your chest, just caught in shards of moonlight, as you pause briefly to breathe… panting heavily from the exertion of kicking in the doors, faces, and genitals of a Columbian mountain village… Spit runs down your stubbly man-chin and your eye squint hard against the barrage of piss the world rains down upon you, but you raise your face up and bask in the spray as if it’s the winner’s-podium champagne. Oh God, America, I tremble with excitement as you loudly shit your pants, scoop a handful of the brown stain into your twisted mouth and proclaim it to be milk chocolate. Oh America, I just want to pull out one of your ribs and beat your stupid, fat, fucking skull with it until you promise to liberate me! Liberate me America! Feed me a big, nutritious bowl of your piss-champagne shit-chocolate acid-junk AIDS-blood Liberty!!”

“Sorry baby, not tonight.”

“Why America? Oh why? Why? Why not here? Why not now? Why not yet?”

“Because, baby, that would be to prejudge the outcome”. 

Written by typingisnotactivism

December 14, 2007 at 6:56 pm

Goodbye John Howard! Hello unexpected but long-overdue ‘Sorry’!!

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Silver-tongued Bob Ellis has freshly penned a perfect post mortem for the election we never need have again and for the departure of that little weasel who we’ll never have to vote out again. It starts like this:

And so it goes; and went.

And what did we learn?

Maxine, Mike Kelly, Bob Debus, Malcolm Turnbull, Tony Windsor showed good candidates help, whatever the swing. Mike Bailey, Rodney Cox, Peter Tinley showed good candidates don’t always win if the swing they need is too large. Mal Brough showed even vast talent goes down to defeat when a huge swing is on. Nicole Cornes, George Newhouse, Karen Chijoff, John Howard showed really bad, dead-cat candidates lose, whatever the swing.

And it just gets better from there – definitely worth a read, especially for anyone who feels the glow from Saturday may be fading, and for anyone unsure as to what there is to be pleased about.

On the other side of the world, Tasmania’s proudest export, novelist Richard Flanagan (of Geoffrey Cousins-influencing fame – the environmental activist millionaire, not the snorting hero) has just had a fresh piece published in the highly respected UK Guardian newspaper. Flanagan’s deft bluntness with language, his passion for forest ecosystems, and his disdain for malignant governance are a deadly team and well worth seeing in action. He translates Australian politics for the rest of the planet in the first tree-free piece he has written in some time:

At the end of his concession speech, Howard claimed to have left Australia prouder, stronger and more prosperous. But it didn’t feel that way. It felt like it had been a lost decade. It felt like the country was frightened, unsure of what it now is, unready for the great changes it must make, and ill-fitted for the robust debates it must have.

There was a strange sense that Australia, which had seemed so often to sleepwalk, mesmerised, through the past 11 years, had suddenly woken up. But where it might go and what it might do and be, no one any longer knew.

This week, the new Prime Minister, Kevin Rudd, has also promised a full and substantial apology to Aboriginal Australians and particularly the Stolen Generations. He has foreshadowed a period of thorough and broad consultation with indigenous leaders and communities to ensure that the message – which he has affirmed will categorically contain the word ‘Sorry’ – be properly expressed. This is truly fantastic news and promises a radically sounder foundation for future development of Australian culture than the one that has been laid over the last 11 years.

I personally hope that from the era of ‘Sorry’ it will be a natural progression to an era of ‘Thankyou’. As much as Australia is this richly diverse melting pot, there is a core of what it is to be Australian that wouldn’t be there if this land actually had been vacant when James Cook declared it to be such. Where’d your nasal twang come from, eh?
And without meaning to harp on the negatives or be hateful to the elevated oil stain now wiped from our windscreens, Phillip Adams at The Australian has written a farewell which stands out from almost all others thanks to the unique perspective of an anecdote starring Nelson Mandela, Malcolm Fraser, and – you guessed it – John ‘Oil Stain’ Howard.

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November 29, 2007 at 3:15 am

Howard & Costello in dramatic last minute recruitment drive.

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braaaaainsii.jpg

which naturally lends itself to

braaaaainsiii.jpg

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November 21, 2007 at 7:29 pm

My message of support for Prime Minister John Howard

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a-message-from-ostraylya.jpg

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November 19, 2007 at 11:53 pm

Great newly free Aussie media

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Just a quick note to say that New Matilda, a young but plucky independent outlet of commentary and analysis, has just made a fairly major policy revision. From now on, all content will be freely accessible. They are shifting to an advertising-sponsored rather than a subscriber-funded model. This, they say, reflects the global trend for online publications.

It’s a bit of a funny thing, independent media. What is, or is not, independent? For example, if a zine runs paid advertising, perhaps even for horrific products – like shampoo, phone sex, and the government – but seems to clearly have an editorial policy where anything goes and nothing is sacred… technically it would be regarded by many as far less independent than a privately owned publication with no advertising and a very clear editorial ideology of the ultra-anally left-wing comrade-cockspank variety.

So what’s the measure of independence? Is there some kind of rule or measure? For example, I write for a paper which I used to think of as independent but now think of as a pit of fecal disrepute. In part, this is hormonal, but it is also because the publisher – as far as I can tell – now sees the ads as content and the content as filler. Although we can and do cover all manner of topics and have quite a free rein in what we say, the fact that news and features now make up less than 12% of the paper and paid ads make up anywhere from 50 – 85% is… well…. utterly debilitating… very dispiriting… as fucked as Paris Hilton in a camera store.

In Australia, the pluralist media model – one similar to the soapbox in the park where the revolutionary, captain of industry, and drooling scabbed loony (a la Miranda Devine) all get their turn – is disappearing up its own arse with a flashlight in search of buried treasure. See any Fairfax paper for proof of this objective observation. Meanwhile, News Limited – the most appropriately named media outlet in the entire history of the world. ever. – is behaving like a Gremlin in a swimming pool, spawning filthy, drooling, rabid green sheets of Glenn Milne’s bog roll all over the place with Melbourne’s Herald-Sun being the latest fanged and slimey shit-wrap to show up on the network news “someone-we-trust-says” radar.

Personally, I’m a big fan of zines that stay out of the writers’ way, don’t give money to douchebags like Gerard Henderson, and get their ad revenue from ethical companies. But it’s also a pipe dream. Invariably such publications run really pretentious ads for the latest opera and leave you feeling like the editors must be wankers. So the bottom line really seems to be financial survival without compromising content.

One thing is certain about “independent” media – whatever it looks like, there’s a hell of a lot more in Australia now than there was a few years ago. Whether it’s risen in response to the absolute betrayal of the public by previously credible media sources, or in a Newtonian response to the nastiest little Australian dictator ever to fart between publicly funded sheets, I don’t know.

But I do know that it’s a bloody lucky thing that we have a bunch of reliable media-louts like Tasmanian Times, New Matilda, Black Inc. Books, The Monthly, The Chaser, Shaun Micallef, National Indigenous Times, Crikey!, homepagedaily, and others. . . because however the election turns out – and I’m hoping to Hell that Hotwad gets his tackle smashed – we’re going to need them.

Written by typingisnotactivism

November 9, 2007 at 12:56 am

Gagging on John’s election…

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Election campaigns tend to be very polarizing but the next six weeks can be bearable if we introduce one simple measure. It’s not really my idea – I’m stealing it from Oscar-winning Nobel laureate Al Gore by amending the idea of carbon neutral to create the Bullshit Neutral Election.

My plan is that every paper, TV and radio station and, most importantly every political party, should be made responsible for balancing its budget of bullshit between now and November 24. A strictly domestic system, this means they can’t fudge their figures by purchasing credibility credits from New Zealand or Albuquerque. And it should hopefully mean all the bastards tell the truth at least half the time.

An “Our cuddliest Prime Minister” advertorial must be balanced by “George Bush – we’re soaking in it”. Whenever Peter Garrett says “we support turning high conservation value forests into chips then paper”, Julia Gillard has to pipe up “because you’re too big a pu$$y to insist that climate change and deforestation are related”. Every time Peter Costello says, “I stand on my economic record” Bill Heffernan will have to say “that’s effing bull$#!! Peter, you stand on anyone making less than six figures”.

In the final week of the campaign, media outlets and the political party with the highest unbalanced emissions of bullshit will have a simple choice – turn all their resources, assets and internal files over to those with the lowest emissions of bullshit – or, less awkwardly, disembowel themselves in a public forum.

This way we all win.

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October 16, 2007 at 10:24 am

Facebook – many reasons not to.

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A number of people i dig muchly have invited me to join Facebook over the last year but there are some things I just can’t get past. Without sounding at all like Miss Teen South Carolina, I hear you say ‘such as?’

Well, apart from the idea of giving some random entity your email password?

I haven’t seen the issue covered anywhere quite as well as in this article on New Media by James Massola in New Matilda earlier this year:

Given the volume of information that Facebook gathers, the question of who has access to it is an important one. A Privacy International report on the privacy policies of some of the biggest websites in the world — think BBC, Google and MySpace — gives Facebook its second lowest ranking.

More speculative than inquisitive, Binoy Kampmark has written a similarly valuable piece, Giving Good Face, at Counterpunch. Kampmark recontextualizes Facebook post-Virginia Tech massacre which backgrounds the visible head of the company well (but also makes me ask ‘can you name a single bombed out Iraqi School?’… ‘Baghdad Junior High’ gets points for effort). This article by Marie at CommonGroundCommonSense (!!!! – sheesh – there’s an idea, hey?) gives a very good rundown of some of the most concerning elements to the Facebook back story.

The Information Awareness Office seems to have survived some of its original purposes in a mutated form, found in today’s Facebook. In fact, one of IAO’s original example technologies included “human network analysis and behavior model building engines,” [10] a surprising echo of the social networking mapping that Facebook does using SVG visualizations. Read the rest of this entry »

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October 1, 2007 at 4:02 pm

Is The Sydney Morning Herald the new Daily Telegraph?

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It may be a strange question, considering that the old Daily Telegraph is still around. Nevertheless, what other possibility is there? For quite some time, SMH has been putting food on the tables of such self-contradicting wrong-wing nonces as Miranda Devine, Gerard Henderson, Michael Duffy, Alan Ramsey, etc. The justification is that the publication is pluralist and therefore provides comfort and staging to a number of different and potentially valid viewpoints. It’s an admirable goal but goes somewhat unachieved.

Yes, the paper certainly features reputable journalists and writers fluent and competent in a number of areas – Wendy Frew, Peter Hartcher, Philip Coorey, Mike Carlton, Ross Gittins, Annabel Crabb, the FOI Guy – to reel off a few from the top of my head. But that is not balance. That is the essential core of any worthwhile news publication.

But to balance Duffy et al the Herald would need to retain the services of rambling and irrational pseudo left wing quasi-intellectuals with a propensity for verbal diaorrhaea and monocular agenda-driven hateful nonsense poorly hidden behind tolerance for a cult of almost-personality. Maybe they should call me…

But why has my threshold been breached today of all days? Well, how about this – an Opinion piece from Bjorn Lomborg. It’s 2007 and a widely read publication is giving oxygen to Bjorn Lomborg. What reaction would be warranted if they gave similarly unqualified space to David Irving?

The Herald says that

Bjorn Lomborg is head of the Copenhagen Consensus Centre, adjunct professor at Copenhagen Business School, and author of The Skeptical Environmentalist and Cool It.

The Herald does not say that Lomborg is a statistician parading as a climatologist, nor does it mention that The Skeptical Environmentalist was thoroughly eviscerated and buried by specialists and experts when it surfaced like a turd at a pool party in 2001. Read the rest of this entry »

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September 27, 2007 at 5:55 pm

Trees Not Tantrums: bitchy whining and the Gunns pulp mill

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or

The Poncey Sulks of John Gay & the new green propaganda.

This will not be a long and detailed analysis, this doesn’t proffer intriguing new interview insights, this is simply a short piece to draw attention to a tendency gone too far and a future newly mapped.

Even if we don’t consider Gunns’ action of directly trying to target 20…15…14 protesters with massive financial penalties, and even if we don’t go digging into the murky background of the decision to chase the Weld Angel for buck$ – even if we just consider John Gay’s pulp and whinery projects (not a typo, btw) then there is an alarming tendency to tantrum on the part of Tasmania’s biggest splinter-maker.

Hell, I can only take so much of thinking about this because it really pisses me off – let’s even limit the discussion to this year. Read the rest of this entry »

Written by typingisnotactivism

September 17, 2007 at 12:11 pm

The Bell tolls for thee, Gunns pulp mill. . .

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Obviously processes are still taking place – mainly the federal Environment Minister’s extended scientific assessment – but now the breadth of opposition to the project has finally caught up to the depth. The federal ALP have been very slow to test the politcal and strategic waters.

The two-pronged approach had so far been to insist that value-added woodchips (as opposed to value-added forestry or value-added timber) would be the way forward for Tassie and that only world’s best practice would do. This neatly leaves many doors open, with Greenies thinking ‘yay’, and loggers thinking ‘fine, mate, this mill’s aaaawesome’. The second prong has been to insist that a properly informed opinion could only be formed once Peter Garrett and his staff had all materials currently before Malcolm Turnbull in front of them. This not only justifies the lack of a clearly voiced position as the only responsible position for them to take, but also prevents Turnbull and Howard wedging them during the run-up to the election. How?

If Turnbull decides to strictly play politics by approving the project after the election has been announced, it will be Kevin Rudd’s ALP that ultimately decides yea or nay on the mill. That’s the equivalent of handing a Russian roulette contestant a six-shooter with 4 bullets in it. If Garrett gives a definitive ‘no’, then elements of the CFMEU, Tasmania’s ALP government, and most industry-backed logging lobby groups will be the bitches we now know they are (considering they campaigned for the mob who brought you WorkChoices). Of course, by now it’s quite possible that this would have the opposite effect of their 2004 campaign against Latham. Kind of like Bush campaigning for Howard. Let’s face it – it’s not the kind of support you really want.

Alternatively, Garrett says ‘yes’ and it’s an entirely different shitstorm. A large number of ALP ‘1’ votes would likely shift to Green, many marginal Tassie seats would become anyone’s guess, but worst of all Tassie would be stuck with a malignant tumour the size of John Gay’s vision for decades thereafter. Just as Turnbull cunningly manouevred himself into the position of being a potentially proactive rescuer for the Tamar, Rudd/Garrett have wisely prepared themselves a ‘we cannot possibly make that determination at this time’ escape route.

Better still, they have tested the air and realized that they really should test the air. Moving beyond the minor concessions v. total moratorium argument, Garrett has stepped up on climate change in exactly the way that Turnbull hasn’t stepped up on water issues. This really does tip federal ALP into the ‘no to Gunns’ camp, and interestingly only happened about 2 days after Howard clearly indicated that he  is not only behind the project, but that the end result of assessment will be a go-ahead for Gunns. Very interesting timing.

As much as people have been ripping on Garrett, both as an individual and a shadow he has actually been engaged in what is increasingly proving to be a demanding game of Patience.

And even as potentially crucial political support does seem to be definitely on the wane for Gunns, of even more concern (to Gunns, anyway) will be the fresh news that major investors and associated sources of finance are leaning toward the ‘bad financial call’ end of the spectrum. Major shareholder Perpetual and ANZ are respectively bound by their own membership and principles of ethical finance. There are always going to be ways to juggle liability and responsibility, and ways to justify a pulp mill as more ethical than straight chipping. Regardless, these latest developments are great news for the campaign to restore a sparrow’s fart of common sense to Tassie’s environmental planning regime.

Of course, this also gives some fuckwits an excuse to throw a tantrum. Still, if it’s easier for an angel to get $10 000 than for John Gay to get a waste dump, things may be looking up.

Written by typingisnotactivism

September 8, 2007 at 4:33 pm

Forest Industry of Tasmania – Asked & Answered.

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Reprinting this from here because it is a shittily arranged site and more chance that all you deep green commie lefties will look at this if you don’t have to click through to a clearfell lobbying www. And because I’ve… (answered it). Thanks David Obendorf for pointing out this piece of poop.

The Editor – Mercury, Examiner, Advocate 28/08/07

by Julian Amos as Chairman of Forest Industries Association of Tasmanistan

The arguments of those opposed to the pulp mill border on the surreal (because they are filthy dirty hippies who smoke mushrooms and collect Dali posters). Let us put some facts on the table (whoa big fella, let’s not get carried away).

The amount of dioxin being released from the mill each year is minute. It will, in
volume, be less than one grain of rice (rice that can destroy reproductive systems at concentrations of less than a grain of sand – not good for marine reproduction at all). Most of these substances will be discharged in the effluent not to the air. (thank god – i like pigeons and John Gay but i fucking can’t stand seals)

The level of dioxins and furans from the proposed mill is miniscule (0.111 grams) compared with the output of these substances from existing wood heaters (0.883 grams or over 96%) in the greater Launceston area (me think you is confused – particulate matter and dioxins are different. particulates are small solid pieces of air pollution that get stuck in lung tissue, dioxins are persistent pollutants that alter genetic functions at incredibly low concentrations). Wood heaters seriously affect the overall air quality in the Tamar and it is wood heaters and not the pulp mill that is the real issue to be addressed. (goddamn wood heaters! why should people be allowed to stay warm in their homes while Gunns lose millions of dollars a day. Shame Launceston, shame!)

The effluent from the mill, including the “grain of rice”, (which is actually one of the most lethal persistent poisons known to humanity, as opposed to actual rice which is an edible grain) will be dispersed via a 3km outlet pipe into Bass Strait, in an area where there is no commercial scallop fishery (so if nobody’s making money off it, we really should bugger it – it’s what the market would want). The Maryvale mill in Victoria has been discharging its effluent into Bass Strait for years, with no adverse effect on the marine environment or any fishery. (may be because they claim to have eliminated emissions of 2378TCDD dioxins. no reported effect from a company with 70 years in pulp industry that as of 10 years ago was still 90% native forest dependent. Nice example.)

The mill will be situated in an area where there are vineyards. In the premium grape growing districts of Provence and Bordeaux, in France, vineyards inhabit the same territory as pulp mills, with no loss of reputation, tourism attraction, or wine quality. (yes, good talking point – in Bordeaux, an inexperienced company that nobody trusts has run a million tonne pulp mill for years. There has never been an accident and people travel there every year for fresh wine, clean air, and France’s breathtaking biodiversity.)

Those who argue for a site move to Hampshire from the Tamar for environmental reasons are being less than honest (that would bother you?). First, there is no proposal to do so, and anyway, why is that site any more “environmentally appropriate”. (no air shed issues, in the middle of Gunns’ plantations, not disrupting existing industries, would have to be properly assessed in the way that Tamar wasn’t)
Industrial plant in Tasmania operates under license conditions. If those conditions are breached, the plant is shut down. The pulp mill will operate under license conditions, and will be treated no differently to any other industrial plant. (as long as Gunns turn themselves in every time they fuck up. That’s another job created right there.)
Those who argue that the mill will destroy Tasmania’ forests conveniently ignore the fact that no additional timber will be cut to feed the mill – woodchips that are presently exported as woodchips will be the feedstock for the mill. (this is false, not only will the mill continue to consume native forests while plantation chips are exported, but the woodchips that are presently exported will most likely have been used overseas by the time the mill can be built.)

And finally (i doubt it), those complaining of the fast-track process (and corruption of due process, and incompetence, and fat belly laughter) by the State Government should reflect on the fact that it was the RPDC process that was flawed, because of the lack of a timeline. (no, we’ve all been over this. The RPDC process was flawed because nobody submitted a competent or complete or accurate Integrated Impact Statement for them to work with, despite numerous invitations and requests for someone to submit said item.) To say that the public has been denied the opportunity for input is wrong. The public had input into the RPDC process and that input has been included under the present arrangements, both State and Federal. (‘inclusion’ is not the same as consideration. And reluctant inclusion without proper consultation, compared with encouraging a corporation to draft and edit legislation before elected unrepresentatives even get a look in?)

The public needs to have the full facts and not simply the biased presentations from the anti-mill lobby. (Yes, the public needs to have the full facts,so give em the facts, fool! Oh, that’s right. Facts are commercial in confidence aren’t they?)

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August 31, 2007 at 12:13 pm

Open praise for John Howard in these difficult times.

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Well done Prime Minister!

Your boundless sincerity and human warmth has made 2007 a year of hope and good faith.

Lord knows that the majority of your eternity in power has been devoted to addressing the needs of Aboriginals in distress, creating accessible and user-friendly government unshielded by costly bureaucratic superstructures, caring for human health not only through a universal healthcare but through the most farsighted environmental policies in the world, the equitable redistribution of wealth and – need I go on?.

As for the education system in Australia – well, the quality is evident. Australian media and voters continually demonstrate fantastic nimbleness of mind and in this strength I still see hope for your reelection.

Your prime directive to gain electoral traction by picking fights with State Governments was exposed just weeks after you’d started doing exactly that. Even though the day you received that advice was the day that you declared the Terra Nullius mk.II in the Northern Territory, people are willing – even with the benefit of such explicit hindsight – to discuss your actions as if there is a possibility that they are genuine

What a relief that is! Otherwise more than half of us might see you as a desperate conniving slithering dirty swot and demand that you stand for something that matters, rather than sabotaging societies and ecosystems for political convenience.

We hope you win Mr. Howard. We hope you stick around – long after the million dollar APEC picnic at Bondi is packed away and the stormtroopers pull back out of the CBD.

Because as interest rates go up, as stock markets crash, as illegal invasions spread global terrorism, as Liberal Party donors consume the last remaining old growth forests and last clean water bodies in the country, as Australia increasingly becomes an international pariah and as politicians become increasingly unaccountable, we will need to see you speaking on YouTube, in Parliament, and at the Southern Cross Broadcasting radio affiliates.

Who else can we trust to remind us just how good our government is, and just how badly off we’d all be without you?

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August 27, 2007 at 10:28 am