Archive for the ‘too good not to’ Category
update: ABC’s official “apology pages” here.
It’s a bloody good piece of writing, it’s long overdue, and perhaps it’s also one big step closer to our nation eventually saying Thankyou. We wouldn’t be who we are as a culture without the influence of Aboriginal peoples and nations from the moment modern Australia insisted on being born of blood. I think that this action tomorrow by Kevin Rudd will ultimately have greater positive effect on the domestic relationships and politics within Australia than ratifying Kyoto has had on our international relationships. Tomorrow will be a real beginning and much more than the token gesture that some would like to reduce it to.
Brendan Nelson is an utter spoogemop, while Kevin Rudd has balls the size of a goat’s head. Oh yeah, the text –
Today we honour the Indigenous peoples of this land, the oldest continuing cultures in human history.
We reflect on their past mistreatment.
We reflect in particular on the mistreatment of those who were Stolen Generations – this blemished chapter in our nation’s history.
The time has now come for the nation to turn a new page in Australia’s history by righting the wrongs of the past and so moving forward with confidence to the future.
We apologise for the laws and policies of successive Parliaments and governments that have inflicted profound grief, suffering and loss on these our fellow Australians.
We apologise especially for the removal of Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander children from their families, their communities and their country.
For the pain, suffering and hurt of these Stolen Generations, their descendants and for their families left behind, we say sorry.
To the mothers and the fathers, the brothers and the sisters, for the breaking up of families and communities, we say sorry.
And for the indignity and degradation thus inflicted on a proud people and a proud culture, we say sorry.
We the Parliament of Australia respectfully request that this apology be received in the spirit in which it is offered as part of the healing of the nation.
For the future we take heart; resolving that this new page in the history of our great continent can now be written.
We today take this first step by acknowledging the past and laying claim to a future that embraces all Australians.
A future where this Parliament resolves that the injustices of the past must never, never happen again.
A future where we harness the determination of all Australians, Indigenous and non-Indigenous, to close the gap that lies between us in life expectancy, educational achievement and economic opportunity.
A future where we embrace the possibility of new solutions to enduring problems where old approaches have failed.
A future based on mutual respect, mutual resolve and mutual responsibility.
A future where all Australians, whatever their origins, are truly equal partners, with equal opportunities and with an equal stake in shaping the next chapter in the history of this great country, Australia.
If you too are a fan of English as a language that evolves, rather than waiting for dictionaries and frustrated language teachers and newspaper editors to determine what is or is not a word which can legitimately be used to convey meaning, you’ll dig these too. Seriously, I wouldn’t give The Washington Post to a puppy to crap on. Actually… that’s probably the one situation where The Washington Post is the paper of choice. Point being, these are pretty good. 8. might just be my favourite, although 13 and 15 are definitely contenders. Anyway…
The Washington Post’s Mensa Invitational asked readers to take any
word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing
one letter, and supply a new definition.
1. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the
subject financially impotent for an indefinite period of time.
2. Ignoranus: A person who’s both stupid and an asshole.
3. Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with.
4. Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly.
5. Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.
6. Foreploy: Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid.
7. Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.
8. Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the
person who doesn’t get it.
9. Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.
10. Hipatitis: Terminal coolness.
11. Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.)
12. Karmageddon: It’s when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, and then the Earth explodes, and it’s a serious bummer.
13. Decafalon (n.): The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you
14. Glibido: All talk and no action.
15. Dopeler effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.
16. Arachnoleptic fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you’ve accidentally walked through a spider web.
17. Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito, that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.
You’ve got to give it to Counterpunch – when it’s good, it’s really, really good. This article by Robert Weissman just sent me headlong into a whole world of fresh juicy goodness.
Annie, who is a former colleague and good friend, casually mentions at the start of The Story of Stuff that she spent 10 years traveling the world to explore how stuff is made and discarded. This doesn’t begin to explain her first-hand experience. There aren’t many people who race from international airports to visit trash dumps. Annie does. In travels to three dozen countries, she has visited garbage dumps, infiltrated toxic factories, worked with ragpickers and received death threats for her investigative work. Her understanding of the externalized violence of the corporate consumer economy comes from direct observation and experience.
You may remember the wonderful piece of animated activism, The Meatrix. If you don’t, do check it out – highly worthy. Anyway, Free Range Studios – who produced The Meatrix – have now produced The Story of Stuff which basically maps out consumption culture from the mining of minerals to the incineration of consumables.
A TFF reader swears this is true. His son’s friend had just hauled up a mud crab from one of the canals at Runaway Bay on the Gold Coast last week, when he was approached by a Fisheries inspector.”You’re copped, mate,” the inspector said. “That is a female crab and it is a protected species. There is a hefty fine for catching one of those.”
“But I haven’t caught it, I have simply retrieved it.”
“What do you mean, you’ve retrieved it ?”
“Well, this crab is my pet and every now and again I bring it down to the canal for a swim.”
“Yes, I let it go, it swims around for a bit and then comes back to me and I take it home. Look, I’ll show you.” And with that, the guy picks up the crab, places it into the water and issues an instruction to take a short swim and hurry back. The officer watches, bewildered.
“When will it come back ?” he asks.
“When will what come back?” the guy responds.
had to pinch this from Peter FitzSimons’ page because it’s too good to not share.
HOLY CRAP!!! Journo attacks candidate, but in the flesh for a change + yet another COALition flyer scam.
Oh Lordy!!! This is too good. This post is kind of an update – check this earlier post for background. Rupert Murdoch’s red-cordial-nightmare Caroline Overington screamed abuse at Labor Party candidate for Wentworth, George Newhouse just over an hour ago.
With her skill for making a clumsy scene, she made sure to not only do this in front of a lot of people, but at a polling location..
“At first we thought who was this woman yelling at Newhouse, then she slapped him and we realised it was Caroline Overington,” the witness said.
She was obviously just following the Electoral Commission’s guidance – mark one box above the line, all the boxes below the line, or attack the candidate in person just to make sure that everyone knows how highly News Limited prizes quality journalism.
Actually, perhaps it is a News Limited ploy. Let’s face it – that last minute poll they ran which put the Liberals closer to winning than in any other poll this year probably wouldn’t have hurt their sales. And now they can run the Sunday headline “Bugger the election results – read today’s Slappy Bitch Psycho column!! Exclusive!!”
just in –> Not wanting to miss out on the last minute negative publicity, Queensland Liberals have made sure to get caught up in another deceptive how-to-vote flyer scam. Nationally, that’s the third reported for the Liberals this week, proving that they are indeed the party of private enterprise.
Check out this story – a senior journalist at The Austra-lyin’ wrote emails to independent Wentworth candidate Dani Ecuyer urging her to preference Malcolm Turnbull – her rival, and one of the key people for Australia’s sabotage of climate change action and for the approval of Gunns’ pulp mill project in Tassie. Turnbull is essentially the antithesis of everything Ecuyer is running in support of, and yet,
She has released an email exchange with The Australian newspaper journalist Caroline Overington, in which the reporter writes “Please preference Malcolm. It would be such a good front page story.”
Even on Star Trek where oversexed humans zapped around space at light speed with photon torpedoes and influenza, the crew knew they weren’t meant to influence the paths of other cultures. Here’s a senior writer for a paper which funds massive advertising b.s. about how awesome it is, asking a pro-environment candidate in what has become a very marginal seat to help return the Liberal anti-environment candidate.
Media Watch, the unique Australian show which guarantees the host a very limited number of journalistic career options for at least five years, has provided a deadly bit of coverage here chronicling the entire sage of communications to and about Ecuyer by the dark forces of News Limited.
Hilariously, both Caroline Overington – the ‘journalist’ in question – and Chris Mitchell – editor-in-chief at The Australian – are claiming that the whole thing was just part of a friendly joke between girls. Seems like the same kind of contempt which they express for the nation’s collective intelligence each and every day.
… and Reuters news service are douchebags.
How great is this story : Hoax bacteria study tricks climate skeptics!!
Some utter legends went to the effort of setting up this fake website for the non-existent “Journal of Geoclimatic Studies”. They published this report which details how ocean bacteria emit more than 300 times the carbon dioxide produced by human activities and that therefore man-made global warming is a myth.
Of course, it’s possible that the ‘creators’ were seeking to further fuel the pro-skepticism propaganda leech-pit, but I can’t help thinking that this profound introduction was written with tongue-in-cheek and middle finger raised high:
We have also taken the unprecedented step of making the paper freely available on our website: something we have been reluctant to do in the past because of our severe budgetary constraints. We hope that even if the paper is dismissed and ignored by those who subscribe to the “consensus” position on climate change, the truth will eventually seep out. We accept that this is not the best route for scientific discourse to take, but none better appears to be available. We publish in trepidation, but in the knowledge that it is the right thing to do.
That intro + context = cheeky satirical genius!
Climate skeptics jumped on the report as the ultimate vindication, the smoking gun, the undeniable proof – one emailed the report to 2000 contacts proclaiming as much. Stupid bloody greenies, trying to save trees and radically alter the future of human progress when all they really need to do is kill the oceans (more than we have already, of course).
Only thing is that, yes, it’s a prank. But it’s a constructive prank from which people should gain wisdom and insight, as opposed to the destructive hoax still being played out by ignorant knuckle-monkeys like James Inhofe. Doubt, profiteering and delay continue to be the real hoax.
Somehow, though, Reuters frames this outstanding piece of activism as an affront to climate skeptics. A more appropriate title would have been “Hoax bacteria study proves that climate skeptics are f#$&ing tools, period“.