David Letterman Blackmail & Confession – full clip

This video keeps disappearing from YouTube, but given its inevitable place in popular culture, modern history, media studies, the news cycle, and the fact that it was first broadcast free-to-air and that no money is being made by reposting it here, its hosting is justified, imho. Sorry for the fact that it’s not smooth playing, I think it’s about 1FPS. It’s a shame to not see his full facial expressions, but it’s worthwhile for the audio and to know what was actually said, rather than just what was reported, again, imho.

Go to the video page from here.

F$%&!!!!!

Have been trying to upload actual video but WordPress wants paid upgrade before allowing any video to be part of the 3GB upload limit. Oh well. That sucks.

You’ll just have to check out the hyperlink before it gets taken down there as well.

Happy creepy viewing.

SAS preparing French paratroopers for Pakistan

Two French paratroopers were seconded to the SAS for special training.  After the first day they met up in the bar.  “Ah, Pierre ,” asks one, “ow ‘av you been doing?”

“Merde!” answers Pierre .  “I ‘av ‘ad ze most terrible day.  Terrible!  At seex zis morning I was woken by zis beeg ‘airy sergeant.  ‘E dragged me out of bed and onto ze parade ground.”

“And zen what ‘appened?”  enquired his mate.

“I will tell you what ‘appened!  ‘E made me climb urp zis seely leetle platform five ft off ze ground and zen ‘e said “Jurmp!”

“And did you jurmp?” asks his mate.

“I did not. I told ‘im – ‘I am a French paratrooper.  I do not jurmp five feet.  Eet is beneath my dignity’.”

“And zen what ‘appened?” asks his mate.

“Zen ‘e made me climb urp zis seely leetle platform ten feet off ze ground, and ‘e said “Jermp.”

“And did you jurmp?” asks his mate.

“I did not.  I told ‘im – ‘I am a French paratrooper.  I do not jurmp ten feet.  Eet is beneath my dignity’.”

“What ‘appened zen?” asks his mate.

“Zen ‘e made me clim urp zis rickety platform un’undred feet above ze parade ground. ‘E undid ‘is trousers, took out zis enormous weely, and ‘e said ‘If you do not jurmp, I am going to steek zis right urp your aarze!”

“Sacre Bleu, mon ami” says his mate.  “And did you jurmp?”

“A leetle, at ze beginning.”

(thanks to Mr. M)

Watchmen – the movie: Review

Given its nature as a graphic novel, it is more than fitting that Watchmen is a similarly graphic film. Anybody familiar with Watchmen, the book, is most likely enamoured of it, and sure to have an idea of which elements of the richly layered text matter most to them.

The good news is that the characters are mostly well cast and recreated in a manner true to the novel. Promotional material is already out, spruiking the end of the superhero as we know it. But rather than ending anything, Watchmen – both as a book and as a new film – is about creating a necessarily new approach to the modern hero fable.

Rather than the appalling candy floss of Spiderman or Superman, and even less ‘moral’ than Hulk or the Dark Knight, Watchmen’s mostly well-drawn characters are multi-dimensional and as ambivalent as they have to be. Even with the elevation of some modern concerns like energy sources and the geopolitic of Afghanistan to a prominence they lacked in the graphic novel, Watchmen honours the original work of Alan Moore in a way that the Waukoski brothers’ molestation of V for Vendetta did not.

Matter-shifting Dr. Manhattan has all the power needed to save humanity from itself, but lacks the desire to use it. The Comedian is an alcoholic misogynist sociopath who wants to see the world burn, but shudders fatally when that possibility becomes certainty. Rorschach is almost as psychotic and unforgettable as on paper. In almost any other film, he could be the standalone supervillain.

Ozymandias/ Veidt lacks some of the impact he should have, simply because he is not portrayed in any sympathetic way, he looks more like a blonde Ken doll or Flash Gordon extra than the more rugged and wise comic book depiction of his character, and because the casting decision for this character who simultaneously achieves total heroic and villainous status is perhaps the worst in an otherwise well-played film. Other than Veidt, the Richard Nixon character is probably the closest to caricature in the film, contrasting pointedly with the far less thinly drawn characters driving the story.

And let’s face it, how few action movies of the last decade – whether transposed from comics or not – have offered anything substantial or challenging by way of character development, let alone done much more than sermonize Brady Bunch values thinly veiled in bloodshed?

Even at around 150 minutes and using the graphic novel quite faithfully as a storyboard, the filmmakers were never going to be able to transfer the entirety of such a complexly constructed book to screen. So the question really is one of what they left out and how they managed what was kept in.

A number of the vignettes and side stories not involving the Watchmen characters don’t make it into the movie and this is something of a shame. The directors and screenwriters likely made the decision that to do otherwise would crowd the work and add confusion to an already agile film which does – to its credit – faithfully use the soundtrack laid out in the novel, augmenting it with some clever pop culture inserts and beautifully constructed media montages and character backgrounds. Similarly, some of the book’s more extreme supernatural elements are excised, traded off instead for more ‘real world’ scenarios. Again, this is probably a choice based on what the film’s structure can solidly support and what audiences can comfortably absorb.

But the choice is also made to give the love and lust relationships of the novel greater prominence than they originally had. In a way – and like some of the costuming – this choice reaffirms the stereotype of the comic book fan as frustrated middle aged virgin. But the notion is fleeting, mostly offset by an avalanche of great ideas, explosive violence, and dark philosophical observation. Fans of the novel may scowl at the ending, but at least it offers a surprise for everyone.

The big question: is Watchmen a film release worth looking forward to?

Absolutely – catch it on the biggest screen and biggest sound system that you can. It’s really quite a movie experience which, despite some annoyances and absences, isn’t to be missed.

Unless you’d rather be watching Australia.

Watchmen gets 8.2 out of 10 (on a scale where V for Vendetta gets 6.5, X-Men 1.5 gets 8 and The Dark Knight gets 9)

News Alert: Israel now to deliver humanitarian aid to Gaza

In an unexpected breakthrough, Israeli Foreign Minister Tzipi Livni has confirmed new steps in addition to the humanitarian aid corridors and three-hour daily ceasefire announced in the last 24 hours.

“Under the 6 month truce with Hamas,” said Livni, “increasing numbers of weapons have been smuggled into Gaza, forcing Israel to defend herself. For this reason, convoys into Gaza are a security problem. But we do not want ordinary Palestinians to suffer, so we will increasingly handle delivery of humanitarian aid – particularly medical supplies – to Gaza.”

The announcement from Livni further detailed Israel’s plans to ensure that humanitarian aid reaches the people who need it most. Using new delivery technologies, the Israeli military will work together with U.N. relief organizations to improve conditions for ordinary citizens of Gaza.

With the benefit of knowledge gained from resupply of US troops in Iraq, the UN and Israeli forces will fasten hardened carbon fibre packages containing antibiotics, anaesthetic, surgical tools, bandages, and saline solution to munitions aimed into Gaza. The new approach will ensure that medical supplies reach the Palestinians who need them most, at the time they are most needed.

Named META – Medical Emergency Targeted Attachment – the containers detach from missiles just moments before impact. The packages are clearly marked with a red cross and emit a series of short siren bursts to allow easier recovery by survivors within the immediate blast zone. Encapsulating nanotechnologies have produced a 93% average survival rate for META contents in field testing.

UN Secretary General Ban Ki Moon is still upset by Israeli attacks on U.N. schools in Gaza, which killed more than 30 refugees, but he sees hope in this new targeted delivery of humanitarian aid.

“We do not approve of the wanton destruction of U.N. property,” said Moon, “but Israel knows that this senseless violence cannot continue. We are encouraged to see some sense in their latest steps toward creating a more humane situation on the ground in Gaza.”

Livni insists that the latest move is not just a cynical stunt suggested to Israel by Washington as a way of projecting a more caring image even at a time of unregulated and unjustified slaughter.

“Here in Israel,” said Livni, “we have already forgotten more about efficient management of civilian populations than most countries have ever had to learn.”

Sea Shepherd catch whalers in Australian Antarctic waters.

Sea Shepherd have just reported their first encounter of the “season”, locating a Japanese harpoon boat inside Australian waters off Antarctica. Obviously, some people will take the notion of ‘Australian waters’ off Antarctica to task. The economic exclusion zones off Antarctica are recognized by a relatively small number of nations, but they are also well established and well known to Japan, whose whaling fleet has been deemed to have a legal case to answer in Australia for killing whales there previously.

Will Peter Garrett break into his holidays (which began in November 2007) to register his official concern with the Japanese government, or, more strongly still, will he ask them to order their government-sponsored whaling fleet to stop breaking Australian law? Or, even strongerer (!? yeah, sure) will he go with the plan that he announced when he was simply trying to win votes and send Australian naval vessels to intercept returning whaling vessels and board them for the purpose of documenting evidence of their illegal whaling activities.

Time will tell, but don’t hold your breath. At most, it’s likely that he will aim to deliver 5% of a rebuff by 2020, with the possibility of demanding 15% of an apology if whales can be heard dying from marginal electorates.

From Sea Shepherd

Captain Paul Watson
The Sea Shepherd Conservation Society ship Steve Irwin now has the entire Japanese whaling fleet on the run.

At 2345 G.M.T. the Steve Irwin intercepted the Japanese harpoon vessel Yusshin Maru #2 inside the Australian Antarctic Economic Exclusion Zone at 64°26 South and 132° 40’ East.

The encounter took place in dense fog and in dangerous ice conditions. The Steve Irwin launched a Delta boat with a crew to attack the Yusshin Maru #2 with rotten butter bombs. Unfortunately the wind increased to fifty knots with blizzard conditions. Captain Paul Watson called the small boat crew back for safety reasons when they were halfway to their target some three miles away.

The Yusshin Maru #2 then headed due North to lead the Steve Irwin away from the whaling fleet. The decoy did not work. The Steve Irwin is now in pursuit of the whaling fleet.

They have ceased whaling operations and they are now running from the Sea Shepherd crew.

The Yusshin Maru #2 was the same vessel that the Steve Irwin crew boarded in January 2007. This year the crew observed that the Yusshin Maru #2 has set up large netting to be run along the side of the ship to prevent boarding parties from going over the side. When the whalers realized that the Steve Irwin was onto them, they immediately ran on deck to deploy the netting.

“It looks like Whale Wars, season #2 is officially underway.” Said Captain Paul Watson. “We’ve got them on the run. They are not in the Ross Sea where they said they would be. They are in Australian waters. The Sea Shepherd Conservation Society is officially calling on Australian Environment Minister Peter Garrett and Foreign Minister Stephen Smith to order the Japanese fleet to comply with the orders of the Australian Federal Court and to cease and desist from killing to whales in Australian waters.”

Captain Paul Watson
Master – The Steve Irwin
Master – The Farley Mowat
Founder and President of the
Sea Shepherd Conservation Society.
http://www.Seashepherd.org

Climate Doom is already here.

Massive extinctions warned about by academics over the last decade seem set to start within the next. Updated science since the diplomatically framed IPCC reports of this year and last indicate that the planet has already begun processes that are almost too grand to halt, let alone reverse.

The escalating scale of human emissions could not have come at a worse time, as scientists have discovered that the Earth’s forests and oceans could be losing their ability to soak up carbon pollution. Most climate projections assume that about half of all carbon emissions are reabsorbed in these natural sinks.

Computer models predict that this effect will weaken as the world warms, and a string of recent studies suggests this is happening already.

The Southern Ocean’s ability to absorb carbon dioxide has weakened by about 15% a decade since 1981, while in the North Atlantic, scientists at the University of East Anglia also found a dramatic decline in the CO2 sink between the mid-1990s and mid-2000s.

A separate study published this year showed the ability of forests to soak up anthropogenic carbon dioxide – that caused by human activity – was weakening, because the changing length of the seasons alters the time when trees switch from being a sink of carbon to a source.

Soils could also be giving up their carbon stores: evidence emerged in 2005 that a vast expanse of western Siberia was undergoing an unprecedented thaw.

The region, the largest frozen peat bog in the world, had begun to melt for the first time since it formed 11,000 years ago. Scientists believe the bog could begin to release billions of tonnes of methane locked up in the soils, a greenhouse gas 20 times more potent than carbon dioxide. The World Meteorological Organisation recently reported the largest annual rise of methane levels in the atmosphere for a decade.

Which means you can take your 5% carbon reduction and your 2 degrees of manageable warming and stick them up your arse. We’re headed to a place that will make Children of Men look like comedy.

Yet again, Australia sabotages climate negotiations

It is now almost impossible to believe that the first official act of the Rudd Labor Government was to sign Kyoto. Barely a year after that act, now reduced to almost empty symbolism, Kevin Rudd and his climate change and environment ministers – Penny Wong and Peter Garrett – must own responsibility for a complete surrender on Australia’s  carbon reduction. Against all economic, scientific, and even best  political advice, Australia has announced a target of 5% carbon emission reductions by 2020, with the possibility of aiming for 15% reductions if other nations work harder.

aahh DeAnima, you've done it again.

With this 5% target, Australia has very deliberately given a gift to cloistered anti-action interests the world over. Up until 2007, the argument by opponents of climate action was that to move without commitments from China, India and America would be unproductive and disadvantageous. Now, forced into action globally, major corporations and lobby groups will certainly resist credible targets of 20% or more by pointing to Australia.

Professor Ross Garnaut has consistently described climate change as one of the most diabolical policy problems possible. Australia, however, even after clear warnings about disappearance of water sources, destruction of the Great Barrier Reef, and economic impacts on crops and ecosystems has just created a similarly diabolical problem for the world. We have not just waved a white flag on massive biodiversity loss and global suffering. We have ensured that those who think nothing of worsening the situation will be well-armed at post-Kyoto negotiations in Copenhagen next year.

The only reason to create the possibility of a 15% target barely makes any sense. It does mean that the Rudd Government can aim to come through the financial crisis and their first election as incumbents before doing something that will upset corporate lobbyists. Unfortunately, the world doesn’t have that long. The major climate talks ate the end of next year will certainly be distorted by this inept move. And to think that any developed economy will try to move toward a 25% target in order to get Australia to aim for far less than that is simply narcissistic.

Disgusted. And angry. And ashamed. The most energy-resource rich nation on Earth has just thrown the planet in the ‘too hard’ basket.

News of the announcement here. Rudd’s immediate comments here.

Amazingly, business groups are already complaining that the target is too high!!!

The Chamber of Commerce and Industry’s Peter Anderson says reducing emissions by 5 per cent will be difficult for the business community when it is also dealing with a financial crisis.

“There are transition costs involved, there is a need for investment in technology and all of that involves costs, particularly at a time when the focus of the business community is on trying to get through the storm that we have around us,” he said.

These greedy sociopathic pigs don’t grasp the fact that chemistry and ecology don’t stop because their Christmas bonus is a bit light. To think, the Rudd Government has copped out on climate change to keep people like this happy is to wonder when democracy became the tool of the few rather than the servant of the many.

A real bloody disgrace.

Arundhati Roy defines Mumbai

This is copied from The Guardian, Roy’s piece is entitled Mumbai was not our 9/11. It’s 5000 words of essential reading, so grab coffee/yerba/chai and strap in. All that follows is a powerful op ed from one of the world’s most valuable living writers.

Mumbai was not our 9/11

by Arundhati Roy

We’ve forfeited the rights to our own tragedies. As the carnage in Mumbai raged on, day after horrible day, our 24-hour news channels informed us that we were watching “India’s 9/11”. Like actors in a Bollywood rip-off of an old Hollywood film, we’re expected to play our parts and say our lines, even though we know it’s all been said and done before.

As tension in the region builds, US Senator John McCain has warned Pakistan that if it didn’t act fast to arrest the “Bad Guys” he had personal information that India would launch air strikes on “terrorist camps” in Pakistan and that Washington could do nothing because Mumbai was India’s 9/11.

But November isn’t September, 2008 isn’t 2001, Pakistan isn’t Afghanistan and India isn’t America. So perhaps we should reclaim our tragedy and pick through the debris with our own brains and our own broken hearts so that we can arrive at our own conclusions.

It’s odd how in the last week of November thousands of people in Kashmir supervised by thousands of Indian troops lined up to cast their vote, while the richest quarters of India’s richest city ended up looking like war-torn Kupwara – one of Kashmir’s most ravaged districts.

The Mumbai attacks are only the most recent of a spate of terrorist attacks on Indian towns and cities this year. Ahmedabad, Bangalore, Delhi, Guwahati, Jaipur and Malegaon have all seen serial bomb blasts in which hundreds of ordinary people have been killed and wounded. If the police are right about the people they have arrested as suspects, both Hindu and Muslim, all Indian nationals, it obviously indicates that something’s going very badly wrong in this country.

Good Riddance: SMH Editor Alan Oakley Hands Over the Race-baiting Ignorance Flogging Boob-soaked Flesh Wand of Destiny.

Alan Oakley

Former SMH Editor

STILL A TOTAL KNOB

Of course it’s not all good news. The Zionist douchebag did step down yesterday – whatever that means is yet to be clear – but has apparently been offered an important strategic position at Fairfax. That probably means he’ll be getting paid six figures to Photoshop well-oiled breasts on to dead Arabs and equally dead polar bears.

As always, the Herald’s own article about the departure of one of Fairfax’s own is a vapid piece of sh*t which quite literally functions as nothing more than a press release. How quality of the paper is it that today another executive, David Kirk, has been dumped, so they sent an intern round to his back fence to take this photo.

What a shame he wasn’t pissing on a tree or rolling drunk and morbid in his own vomit at the time. Still, they have at least managed to make him appear mildly depressed, even though he’s actually just busy sending a text message.

The Australian’s article about Oakley’s departure from the Simply Moaning Hairball at least makes clear why he felt it necessary to turn the paper into a piece of glamorous mindless populist piece of turd largely written at a fourth grade reading and analysis level. Seems his lateral elevation was all about Sunday papers – tits, car ads, and Michael Jackson stories, basically.

Anyway – good riddance. If the Herald hadn’t formerly been a very worthwhile newspaper, and if it wasn’t still holding a stable of very good writers and journalists, then there would be no reason for frustration with the wad of 90% trans-fats that it has become in the last two+ years under Oakley and the completely visionless board of Fairfax.

One might hope that Oakley’s departure will open the door for a dramatic improvement of the ailing newspaper culture at the Sydney Morning Herald and Farifax’s other outposts, but based on their sustained form there is little reason for that hope.

Awesome Sarah Palin Sex Tape!!

well, sort of....

It’s enough to make a fat man scream….

8 )

Stockbrokers don’t use the window anymore…

Not in Brazil, anyway. Reuter reports that a proactive trader brought activity to a halt last night, by dealing with his blues the old-fashioned way.

SAO PAULO, Nov 17 (Reuters) – A Brazilian trader shot himself on Monday in the open outcry pit of Sao Paulo’s commodities and futures exchange in an apparent suicide attempt, the exchange said.

Paulo Sergio Silva, 36, a trader for the brokerage arm of Brazilian banking giant Itau (ITAU4.SA: Quote, Profile, Research, Stock Buzz)(ITU.N: Quote, Profile, Research, Stock Buzz), shot himself in the chest during the afternoon trading session, the exchange said, and hospital staff said he was in critical condition.

Silva was given first aid on the scene before being transported to the hospital, BM&F Bovespa SA (BVMF3.SA: Quote, Profile, Research, Stock Buzz), which operates the exchange, said in a statement without providing further details.

Traders said the incident happened in the interest rate futures pit, a raucous circle where on average $21 billion worth of contracts exchange hands every day.

Reuters forgot to mention that the company motto at Itau trading house actually is ‘buy high, sell low, shoot yourself in the chest’.

Aussie Captions Needed: Malcolm Turnbull…

.......................... ?

no prizes, plenty of reasons, pretty self-explanatory, and……GO!

one bloody good example from Glass Wall Observer that hassurprisingly little to do with penises:

Turnbull displays both his level of concern for “working families” and the extent to which his own living standards will be affected by any economic downturn.

Lovin’ it.

More!!

Now!!!!         8 )

PATRIOT Act Repealed!! Iraq withdrawal commences.

A very special edition of the New York Times was freely distributed to 1.2 million Americans as they raced to or from work today, in commemoration of an end to the Iraq and Afghanistan Wars. Web traffic for the special edition has been so high that a number of pages have been forced offline, but the special issue is certainly worth visiting, for the stirring cover art alone.

Iraq War ends! Cars run on gasoline recalled.

Awesome!! This bulletin just in from New York Times:

Early this morning, commuters nationwide were delighted to find out
that while they were sleeping, the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan had
come to an end.

If, that is, they happened to read a “special edition” of today’s New
York Times.

In an elaborate operation six months in the planning, 1.2 million
papers were printed at six different presses and driven to prearranged
pickup locations, where thousands of volunteers stood ready to pass
them out on the street.

Articles in the paper announce dozens of new initiatives including the
establishment of national health care, the abolition of corporate
lobbying, a maximum wage for C.E.O.s, and, of course, the end of the
war.

The paper, an exact replica of The New York Times, includes
International, National, New York, and Business sections, as well as
editorials, corrections, and a number of advertisements, including a
recall notice for all cars that run on gasoline. There is also a
timeline describing the gains brought about by eight months of
progressive support and pressure, culminating in President Obama’s “Yes
we REALLY can” speech. (The paper is post-dated July 4, 2009.)

“It’s all about how at this point, we need to push harder than ever,”
said Bertha Suttner, one of the newspaper’s writers. “We’ve got to make
sure Obama and all the other Democrats do what we elected them to do.
After eight, or maybe twenty-eight years of hell, we need to start
imagining heaven.”

Not all readers reacted favorably. “The thing I disagree with is how
they did it,” said Stuart Carlyle, who received a paper in Grand
Central Station while commuting to his Wall Street brokerage. “I’m all
for freedom of speech, but they should have started their own paper.”

Some people just don’t get it….

updated reports here

Malcolm Turnbull’s ego shames Australia on the B.B.C.

Malcolm Turnbull tells.... um... does this even need a caption?

Malcolm Turnbull, leader of Australia’s well-deserving federal opposition has been banging on and on for nearly 2 weeks now about a joke about George Bush.

Firstly, Turnbull has taken on the role of playing wounded, feigning shock that anybody could consider the least competent American President in history an idiot. It’s a strange position for an allegedly intelligent man to take, especially given that his unending melodrama of the last fortnight would have made better sense coming from a 7-year old boy with wet underpants.

Secondly, Turnbull has been flouncing on for so long about how some joke about George Bush, allegedly made by Kevin Rudd, will so hurt our international standing, and so harm Australia’s international security clearance, and so upset the rest of the world, that now the media of the world have walked into the story thinking it’s actually a story and thereby treating it as such. So after two weeks of hard and useless work, Turnbull may well have achieved that of which he has endlessly accused Rudd.

Thanks to Lord Snot’s ceaseless self-serving dummy-spit, the BBC world service is now carrying this ill-informed article freshly posted by Reuters.

“[It was] an account so self-serving that it presented him as a diplomatic encyclopaedia, a font of all knowledge, and the president of the United States, the chief executive of our greatest ally, as a fool,” Mr Turnbull was quoted as saying by Reuters news agency.

Aren’t parliamentary privilege and political power wonderful? You can be the gutless leading puppet of a rejected gaggle of climate change denying visionless racists focussed only on finding fault in everything that everybody who is actually doing anything puts forward, intent only on one day adding “Prime Minister of Australia” to your resume because it’s the one thing you haven’t been able to buy – yet – but if you spin the same irrelevant line long enough, the world will listen to your vacuous side of the story for, ooh, maybe fifteen minutes?

But that’s opposition isn’t it – so little to do, so much time.

Rihanna Vomits on Sydney Stage.

Rihanna thinks about vomiting, but is it because of the outfit, the pretention, or the set list?

Revenge!!! So little airtime, so much plastic music – but good taste is fighting back. Sort of.

At any rate, Rihanna apparently ran from the stage of her concert at Acer Arena in Sydney.

“She was indicating to the crowd she wanted a puffer,” he said. “Then she bent over, clutching her stomach and ran off. She fell over on the side of the stage and paramedics ran to help her. She was vomiting.”

Obviously her running is as inadequate as her songwriting and creative concepts. Her management claim it was the heat at the venue – but it’s more likely to have been her song choice.

She was performing the final song of the evening, Umbrella, with her boyfriend, singer Chris Brown, when she became distressed.

“El-la, el-la, el-la, el-la, el-la, el-la, el-la, etc.” Any song that depends on this crap instead of real lyrics and has a literal music video is going to make most people vomit eventually. It’s amazing it’s taken her this long. Living her stage show must be like getting trapped inside a 13-year old’s iPod. Pee-yook.

Juicy behind the scenes rumours from US election

Sorry for the sleazy title, but if you’ve got such a problem with it, how did you end up here?

Turns out that Newsweak (NOT a typo) has been running a little project via its journalists, gathering anything not-fit-for-print or off-the-record pre-election to release post-election.

Genii.

Although it’s quite hilarious to read that Sarah Palin couldn’t grasp that Africa is a “continent” rather than a “country”, the eye-catching bit of awesomeness is a comment from Obama, in which he (rightly) derides the debate stage show.

When he was preparing for the Democratic primary debates, Obama was recorded saying, “I don’t consider this to be a good format for me, which makes me more cautious. I often find myself trapped by the questions and thinking to myself, ‘You know, this is a stupid question, but let me … answer it.’ So when Brian Williams is asking me about what’s a personal thing that you’ve done [that’s green], and I say, you know, ‘Well, I planted a bunch of trees.’ And he says, ‘I’m talking about personal.’ What I’m thinking in my head is, ‘Well, the truth is, Brian, we can’t solve global warming because I f—ing changed light bulbs in my house. It’s because of something collective’.“

Apart from it being reassuring to know that Obama uses the F word, how on-the-money is that assessment of feelgood new age greenness. Lovin’ it. Gobama!

Yay World, Racism’s Finished Now!

What an amazing year for black people: Kevin Rudd apologized to the Aboriginal Stolen Generations, Lewis Hamilton won the Formula 1 Grand Prix, and now this – Barack Obama, first African-American President. Yay, racism’s all gone now.

Of course it isn’t. And it’s freaky that media – credible, generally reliable media – are so gaga over the African-American component of Barack Obama that his victory is now being painted as the realization of Martin Luther King’s I Have A Dream.

This is not to take away from what Obama’s victory is. It is profound, and by virtue of the fact that America must now change direction on so many globally impactive issues, it is world-changing. It is a relief, it is a chance for the world to take a long-awaited breath. It is generational and cultural change. It is the elevation of vision triumphing over the politics of fear.

But just like Rudd’s apology, although it is a starkly powerful symbol – and therefore open to all manner of broadly varying characterization from any and all with a response to such a symbol – it is not an end in itself. It is, if anything, a beginning.

The most pragmatic assessment (pre-election) of what an Obama victory might mean for shifting racial tensions in America was that people still beholden to racial discrimination, whether consciously or reflexively practised, might see their distrustful tendencies diminish over time. If they experience a long term engagement with or relationship of sorts to a black man as President, and come to judge him on his words and actions, rather than their kneejerk attitude to his skin, then their embedded prejudices might register as irrelevant and unsustainable. And, like most useless things, be let go.

That’s more realistic. Then again, this is perhaps more caustic than it is pragmatic (still thoroughly timely reading):

Jesse Jackson will be appointed lead editorial writer for The Wall Street Journal. and Al Sharpton will assume duties at The National Review.  Rush Limbaugh will inaugurate a series called “Great African American Inventors.” Spike Lee will be invited to run Columbia Pictures  and Amy Goodman will take over at NBC. The Newspaper Society of America will apologize for the lynchings and civil disturbances caused by an inflammatory media over the last one hundred or so years. A choked up Rupert Murdoch will read the statement on behalf of his colleagues.

In an emotional press conference, John McWhorter, Ward Connerly and Shelby Steele will admit that  they have been tools of the Eugenics movement and donate all of the millions they have received from far right organizations to scholarships for black and Hispanic students. Blacks will have as much access to a good education as those members of Al-Qaeda and Saddam’ s government who studied in  the United States. This will end the policy of you educate them, we fight them.

Gertrude Himmlefarb and Lynne Cheney will insist that the works by Hispanic, black and Native Americans be added to the cannon.  Cornel West will co host  a show with Dr.  Phil. The New York Review of Books will end its white only policy and begin to resemble America. Phillip Roth will admit that all of his novels are autobiographical. Several prominent abstract expressionists will confess that they can’t draw.

All of the blacks and Hispanics who have been driven out of New York, Oakland, and San Francisco, as a result of the policies of ethnic cleansing, advocated by Jerry Brown, Giuliani and Newsom, will be invited to return. The banks that aimed toxic mortgage loans to blacks and Hispanics, who would have qualified for conventional loans had they been white, will halt the foreclosure process and renegotiate these loans. CEOs on Wall Street will forego bonuses and golden parachutes. Sales conferences will be held at Day’s Inn. For rent signs will go up on K street. The American Enterprise will close its doors.

taken from Morning in Obamerica, by Ishmael Reed

President Barack Obama: It’s a lock!!!

Given that the West coast of America is rife with filthy communist Hollywood types, the final handful of seats needed by Barack Obama is assured. It’s over. He wins. BIG!!!. It’s unlikely that even Republic*nts are stupid enough to take any part of these incoming election results to the Supreme Court for a bit of stacked judiciary revision.

UPDATE: OBAMA hits 273 seats with 138 still to count. Massive Win!!!!!!! Looking set to take Indiana and Virginia in massive redrawing of electoral map.

2 big outcomes: Americans made the right choice (finally), and NO MORE US ELECTION COVERAGE!!!!! Woo Hoo!

In the meantime, however, results are still coming in and analysts are trying to simultaneously milk and nail down the moment.

Bloomberg: Obama on Verge of Presidency

Peter Hartcher, in Sydney Morning Herald: US Voters reject Bush nightmare

The Fireside Post: Finally! An intellectual Moral President.

Al Jazeera: Ha Ha, American Infidel Scum!

UK Guardian: Breaking US Election coverage.

eating Defeat Nachos

Obama by 123 seats! Florida, Ohio, Iowa, Colorado, New Mexico, Virginia, Pennsylvania, and The Senate..

Game On!!! It looks as though the Republican election-stealing machine has stayed mothballed so far. Perhaps because robbing this election would be too obvious. Pennsylvania confirmed as first big swing state prize, with Ohio and Florida looking set to follow.

Latest locked in numbers from New York Times have Obama on 192 seats and McCain on 69. Meaning: McCain is getting smashed, the Republic*nts are getting smashed, and Obama is only 78 seats from victory. If current trends continue, the Democrats also look set to take a clear majority in the all important Senate race, meaning no more excuses for their role in approving further failed policy positions.

Up to date election result map here, and recommended result surfing here.

Also, check out Tom Edsall’s Guide for Watching Election Results, which makes it all more bearable.

Ben Smith of Politico is also logging mini-updates of useful breaking news here, with the latest – and welcome – byte being that Obama may be considering Democrat powerbroker and brains trust Rahm Emanuel for appointment as his Chief of Staff.

Incoming state reports and news bytes here from bloggers for the Washington Post.

Quick n Easy Access to US Election Day Coverage

Here it is – Election Day, and if American foreign policy arrogance is anything to go by, today’s winner gets to be the new Ruler of the World. This is of course one more reason why everybody on the planet should get to vote for the US Presidency, which would be one solid reason why the result would not be in doubt. However, Americans and American Elections being what they are, today may yet be a very very long day.

In vague order of immediacy, here are the most useful pages for you to visit today, depending on your information processing needs.

For your immediate updates and easiest insight, go to the the New York Times front page. Clear mapping in red and blue as tallies come in, with percentages and additional headlines if you want to keep reading. Good news just in – Florida (North America’s wang) is swinging clearly toward Obama. With 10% of the vote counted there, he’s up 55% to 45%. North Carolina has also gone to Obama heavily in early voting, with South Carolina swinging from blue to red and backagain.

Can’t handle uncertainty, head to the New York Times President Map. This map shows the way that states are leaning as counts come in but, unlike CNN, MSNBC, FAUX, etc. only reports electoral seats gained once they are confirmed. It details the direct race between Obama and McCain. So far, Obama has only New Hampshire, while McCain has pulled ahead in states where you might expect to find bourbon served with breakfast.

If you have more time to spare and would like to choose between objects of hope and despair for yourself, Huffington Post has a full page worth of Election Day maps and widgets from different news and online sources, such as Google, CBS, and CNN.

Of course, if you’re wanting more depth to your coverage, just go straight to the Huffington Post front page where updates and new commentary are being posted almost half-hourly throughout the day – complete with stories of voting irregularities, legal challenges to ballots, and latest exit polls. It’s a good day to check out HuffPo if you’re new to the site.

For greater depth and breadth, Real Clear Politics is one of the most widely referred to early posters of political number crunching – and with good reason. Their information layout could be less painful, but if you have time to delve in search of salve for your political angst, RCP is the site for you.

And presented in a more NewsWeek type format, Politico also offers broad up to date coverage, but in a less constipated format, that makes quick check-ins and check-outs easier and more worthwhile.

Naom Klein’s new Bailout piece for Rolling Stone

Naomi Klein – intellectanarcho-justice consiglieri extraordinaire and author of No Logo and The Shock Doctrine – has just had a mini-opus on the $700B bailout published here in Rolling Stone. It’s suitably entitled The New Trough and like all of Klein’s writing is well worth a look for anybody thinking that the most loudly repeated story isn’t necessarily the real story.

On October 13th, when the U.S. Treasury Department announced the team of “seasoned financial veterans” that will be handling the $700 billion bailout of Wall Street, one name jumped out: Reuben Jeffery III, who was initially tapped to serve as chief investment officer for the massive new program.

On the surface, Jeffery looks like a classic Bush appointment. Like Treasury Secretary Henry Paulson, he’s an alum of Goldman Sachs, having worked on Wall Street for 18 years. And as chairman of the Commodity Futures Trading Commission from 2005 to 2007, he proudly advocated “flexibility” in regulation — a laissez-faire approach that failed to rein in the high-risk trading at the heart of the meltdown.

Bankers watching bankers, regulators who don’t believe in regulating — that’s all standard fare for the Bush crew. What’s most striking about Jeffery’s résumé, however, is an item omitted when his new job was announced: He served as executive director of Paul Bremer’s infamous Coalition Provisional Authority in Baghdad, during the early days of the Iraq War. Part of his job was to hire civilian staff, which made him an integral part of the partisan machine that filled the Green Zone with Young Republicans, investment bankers and Dick Cheney interns. Qualifications weren’t a big issue back then, because the staff’s main function was to hand over stacks of taxpayer money to private contractors, who were the ones actually running the occupation. It was this nonstop cash conveyor belt that earned the Green Zone a reputation, in the words of one CPA official, as “a free-fraud zone.” During Senate hearings last year, when Jeffery was asked what he had learned from his experience at the CPA, he said he thought that contracts should be handed out with more “speed and flexibility” — the same philosophy he cited back when he was in charge of regulating Wall Street traders…. [continue reading]

Congo continues to be the 21st Century’s Secret Holocaust.

The continuing bloodlust in the Congo is the worst ongoing Holocaust on Earth and actually looks set, in simple numerical terms, to soon surpass the number of Jewish dead in Hitler’s WWII genocide. Already there are 5.4 million dead. This article about human tragedy and corporate sponsorship of rape by Johann Hari gives a very necessary glimpse into the worst secret slaughter in modern history.

The battalions of child soldiers — drugged, dazed thirteen year olds who had been made to kill members of their own families so they couldn’t try to escape and go home. But oddly, as I watch the war starting again on CNN, I find myself thinking about a woman I met who had, by Congolese standards, not suffered in extremis.

I was driving back to Goma from a diamond mine one day when my car got a puncture. As I waited for it to be fixed, I stood by the roadside and watched the great trails of women who stagger along every road in Eastern Congo, carrying all their belongings on their backs in mighty crippling heaps. I stopped a 27 year-old woman called Marie-Jean Bisimwa who had four little children toddling along beside her. She told me she was lucky. Yes, her village had been burned out. Yes, she had lost her husband somewhere in the chaos. Yes, her sister had been raped and gone insane. But she and her kids were alive.

I gave her a lift, and it was only after a few hours of chat along on cratered roads that I noticed there was something strange about Marie-Jean’s children. They were slumped forward, their gazes fixed in front of them. They didn’t look around, or speak, or smile. “I haven’t ever been able to feed them,” she said. “Because of the war.” Their brains hadn’t developed; they never would now. “Will they get better?” she asked. I left her in a village on the outskirts of Goma, and her kids stumbled after her, expressionless.

McCain: Obama is a “motherfucker”

Bless you Mr. Fish – you’re soooo nasty.

Relax! US Economy is perfectly sound!

… unfortunately the sound is

which really Adam Sandler howling “the price is wrong, bitch!” over the top of it. And somebody has gone and written an article at Bloomberg.com entitled, Bush says “U.S. using wide range of tools”

Isn’t that the problem? Biggest bunch of tools ever.

And speaking of douche nozzles, Mayor Bloomberg himself, mega-squillionaire mayor of New York City has been complicit in an 11th hour act of utter scumbaggery. Amidst all the noise of the $700B bailout with its associated $150B in pork products, lawmakers quietly buried legislation that would have guaranteed $5B in ongoing health costs for rescue workers made ill from time spent working at New York’s Ground Zero. Bloomberg supported the backdown, unwilling to cover 10% of the bill.

Makes it clear who the real sick f#$ks are.